NEW STORIES 2008

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Excuse me sir? Where exactly is Pamela Anderson signing autographs at?
Say what?
Pamela Anderson. She is signing autographs somewhere around here.
Who told you that?
Those dealers on the craps table. There were no players and I asked where everyone was at?

A lady approached an elderly dealer in a large casino. "Excuse me," she said. "How do you get out of here?"

The dealer replied ruefully, "Lady, I've been trying to figure that out for the last fifteen years."

The other day there's a break in, we'll call him Joe Cat, fresh outta dice class, on the game. Point of four. Lotta action on the hardway. Front line winner.
In the middle of payin everything somebody asks "Which way did it come?"
Joe Cat authoritatively points toward the shooter and says "It came from down there."

So its another usual P triple M Saturday night at the craps table. The table was surrounded by a sea of ghetto funk all screaming for the trey trey. My register remained virtually empty except for a couple of $3 place bets on the six and eight. Meanwhile the field and the big Six and big Eight were loaded with bets. The dice were moving slowly due too all the heavy setters. Prop bets were coming in while the dice were in the air, and all I kept hearing over and over was, Pay the lady and my other favorite phrase, Pay ME MY MONEY. Thus the name P triple M Saturday has won my heart. Over and over the dice are thrown and I keep asking myself over and over again, What is this new trend with the ghetto funk of calling out numbers to the dice while they are in the air? I find myself wondering if the small pieces of plastic really understand our language. I've contemplated actually talking to them and seeing if they can be more cooperative than most of the fleas at the table. So for the first seven hours of my shift this was the story along with no tokes and it was as monotonous as trying to explain to all the Chinese dealers that trey trey really means three three, thus a hard six.

As our shift winds down and the magic hour of our table closing moves upon on us a miracle happens. George finally shows up and comes to save the dealers from our eight hour stretch of misery. Not only did George show up but George showed up in the form of two hot ladies. In my mind there is nothing better than a hot lady who plays dice and knows how to toke. I loved them so much I wasn't even thinking about short sticking. These two Georges completely flipped the mood of the game as they kept throwing in tokes right and left and making bets for the dealers. It was wonderful to have tokes thrown into me on the table in front of all the fleas that had been there for the last seven hours and yell as loud as I could, Thank you so much for the tips, dealers appreciate it. Thus as well the soft hustle began as I was working third base, the Georges were on second and one of my flea players on third is shooting and says to me, Now we are going to make some money, To which I so happily replied to this flea, Yes and thanks to those two wonderful ladies the dealers are finally making some money!

All in all it wasn't a bad night due to the fact that it ended on a good note with good tokes thanks to the Georges. I've learned in dealing dice that it makes no difference how many players you have, its what kind of players you have that makes all the difference. To all the fleas out there I want you to know that out of all the combinations on the dice I'm so happy that there are more ways to make a seven than any other number. When there is a table of fleas I'm just waiting for the next call of seven out so your money will go into my register and you will get frustrated and walk off the table. Call it what you want but I call it Karma. To all the Georges out there I want to say thank you. You pay my rent and I will do all I can to give you excellent service. You take care of us and we will take care of you. Later!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A buddy of mine who works the floor in a locals casino told me at the bar the other night that he's watching this kid deal dice getting all flustered to a group of gang bangers.

Dealer asked the box; "You dealt on the strip, bet you never dealt to a crowd like this"

Box replies; "Sure I have. The only difference is that on the strip you deal to those who sell crack and here we deal to those who smoke it." - "Pay those field bets will you?"

I work at a casino on Flamingo and Paradise and we have the "Midnight Special" that usually starts about that time and it's exactly like that. They come in and the craps game turns in to the ghetto march. Makes me think I'm dealing in North Vegas.
Now we have a new bet, called the Midway. Stupid fuckers think it's great, like the Field bet. Midway bet is betting on 6-7-8. Even money unless it's a hard 6 or 8. Then the bet pays 2-1.
As for 'talking' to the dice in the air, simple, NO BET. Stops them all the time. Sure it pisses of the Shift Manager when you say NO BET, but why else are we dealing craps if not to piss off the Shift Manager?

Ever wonder why the 'darker' side of customers love drinking double shots of expensive booze? I bet you not 1 in 20 of them have any Hennessy, Cognac, even Courvoisier in their shacks. But they sure know how to drink them for free. I love to ask the stickman if he has seen 'Skinny Dugan' today as the dice are in the air. Works every time, well almost every time. LOL
I sure wish we could bring back the old Visine. How I loved telling the waitress to add that to their 'double' shots.

I guess 33 years of dealing craps has taken it's toll on my 'tude'.

Later fellow craps dealers.
Phil

I am sitting box at my casino and the place has a lot of new dealers. Some of them have experience, but haven't really been shown anything to make the game easier for themselves. That's where I come in. I have this dealer on third base and the passline is all red and white (nickels and dollars) except for the very first bet which has $3.00 flat with $30 odds. The point is nine and it's a passline winner. I tell the dealer to grab a handful of white and red, and then pick one green with his white hand. I then say with your white hand, not your right hand. He looks at me and says "I don't have a white hand, I'm Indian". I guess that pretty much tells you what kind of casino I work at.

Ok, its 11am and I just tapped in on 3rd base. I had just moved to Day shift from swing and my sleep schedule was still all twisted. Never mind, as you all know, now I had a life. I could actually go out after work and hang with those who actually work outside the casino industry. (This was in Shreveport, same people, same bars, basically SSDD.)

But I digress.

“Monday” seemed to be especially painful this particular morning. Seems I still could not sleep until 6am no matter how many beers I had. We had an unusually jammed-up game, black all around, and in action, 6 players to an end. So here’s the story…Oh, by the way, the last thing I hear from the outgoing Stick is, “You got a 55 minute roll, not one George, Good Luck!”

We come out on a point of 4 and here comes the action. A few guys were catching the roll and are ready to go purple. Seems like everyone has at least 6-8 grand in black. So we roll, may be 5 or 6 numbers and then “Eight, Hard Eight!” Now, for some reason, probably because I still had a BAC of .10, I think WINNER, grab a handful of black and purple and cruise around the line, paying everyone 6 to 5.

When I get next to stick, he realizes that I should not have paid the line, and screams “The point is 4!” Miraculously, not one player picked up a cheque. So, I go out and muck up the payoffs, set them in front of the boxman, who is also asleep, and grab two more handfuls of cheques. Now, with the box and stick watching, I go out and pay the line, 2 to 1, because after all, the point is 4.

By now the stick and 2nd base are pissing their pants, unable to speak. I get done paying again, look up and say “What?” The stick, still laughing uncontrollably, looks me dead in the eye and says, “Dumb Ass, the point is 4, but the call is still Hard 8!”

Again, not one player picks up a cheque. By now, everyone within 20 feet is aware of the situation and watching me make a complete idiot of myself.

So… I muck up the line payoffs again, pay the 8, pay the hardways, get tapped out, and deal Let-It-Ride for the next three days.

I will not say which casino (Tunica) or the dealer, but this really happened. First off you have to understand at this property the craps dealers get the early push at 30 min. So coming back from his last break at 5:30, Jody comes to stick not having more than 15 min. left to deal he is rather ready to leave (swing shift is really good at tapping you off at 15 till). This gentleman buys in for a few large and throws Jody five black and wants all the hard ways for him and us to piggy back (which is always a bet). So being the singing stick that Jody is, he tells third to toss him four green (as he throws in one black). A books the bet saying,"Al the hard ways with black and green on their back for the boys and girls, thanks to my four". The Box which is female and a dual rate, says," whatever you call, call it hard".
So Jody gives the dice to the shooter. When the dice land Jody calls it hard(and you probably guessed it). "Seven HARD, Seven out line in the dont's win ..etc.....
As Jody dumps the bowl and starts selling the sucker bets, a woman( who was good SS material) next to the gracious gentleman who bet for us says,"I have never seen a HARD 7". To which Jody replies,"I get off in 15 min. come to my house and I'll show you a HARD ". Which might have been OK if the Shift Manager was not standing right behind the Box.

My shift manager is firm but fair unless you have an audition. Whenever somebody gets an audition at our place the SM goes out of his way to make the perspective dealer nervous as possible especially in dice.

He will have you come in on a Friday night when the pit is jumping and will put you on the busiest table. Just before you are ready to deal he will ask what does a $1000 place bet on the 6 or 8 pay? Followed by asking what does a $60 horn high twelve pay if 12 rolls? He always asks that one.

Some get the $1000 place bet but most get tongue-tied with the horn bet.

He tries to intimidate you. His theory is that if he intimidates you enough during an audition so that you lose concentration and make mistakes....
....you will get nervous on a big game and fuck up.
He doesn't like nervous dealers.

He is a good guy. He says he has to do that to weed out people that want to work there. There are just to many.

He is also unpredictable. To a degree.

I asked if my friend could apply and audition. He said to tell him to be there on Friday night. I told him that he will ask about a $1000 place bet on 6/8 and ask what a $60 horn high 12 pays if 12 rolls.

We rehearsed the answers.

Sure enough just like clockwork he tried to intimidate him. He also asked what a $1000 place bet paid and followed that with what a $60 horn high 12 pays if ACES ROLLED


"Why that will pay $684 and still up!"


Well, you know the rest of the story.


That fucked him up!




Aces?

I was just breaking into the dice pit at this casino in MS 1993 when the casinos were just starting to come into the area. I was on stick on this game and this couple walk up to our game. The women was hot and had a loose v-neck shirt on. So my box and fellow dealers tell me to SS. So I do it a few times and then the next thing I know the ladies boyfriend tells me if I send the dice past the O in the COME line he will kick my ass. He said he didn't care if she had to climb the table to get them.

Why can't we get more players like that!!!!!

About 4 am the other night on the craps game the was a chick playing next to stick, the only thing she's betting is the field... for some reason or other she had her purse up on the rail... well time passes by and the dealers are telling her to place her money in the 12 circle in the field cause it pays better, sure enough she starts leaning over to reach the 12 spot and her purse dumps over, boxman jumps up and yells NO ACTION on the dildo..... she just smiles reaches down picks it up and continues playing... I wouldn't of believed it but I saw the pics from surveillance

I was sitting box about 7/8 years ago when rather well endowed woman joins our table giving us two players 1 at each end. Obviously the dealers are showing her all the bets that are just out of reach, at the same time the shooter is letting go of the dice and ordering a drink, 1 die heads straight down the middle other bounces funny and lands right between the woman’s very ample boobs, the stick shouts call it the base dealer starts to reach for the other die I jump up shouting no roll no action for the boobs meaning my dealers.