All
they had to do was finish this sentence:
Thou
shall ............
THE WINNERS IN THE TEN COMMANDMENTS
OF DEALING CRAPS CONTEST
Commandment I
Thou shall look attentive
and eager as the news of the casinos ever changing policies and procedures goes
in one ear and out the other!
Commandment II
Thou
shall not engage in conversation with a blackjack dealer that is not a prelude
to sex!
Commandment III
Thou shall to remember that duel rate who rode your ass on his game
that the past 3 rolls were a 6 ,9 and 4
when he is dealing on your game!!!
Commandment IV
Thou shall always sing like Sinatra when "the boys are in the
game".
Commandment V
Thou
shall deal according to policies and procedures...until the shift boss leaves
the pit.
Commandment VI
Thou shall ALWAYS return
from break with thy sports scores!
Commandment VII
Thou shall honor all of thy crew by doing what we do
when she wants to throw the dice that makes our job so nice (SS)
Commandment VIII
Thou shall have sex with as
many cocktail servers as possible and keep thy running score
Commandment VIIII
Thou
shall NEVER take this business so serious that it gives you gray hair or ulcers.
Commandment X
Thou
shall accept the fact that that your boxperson , aka "GOD" comes
in all shapes and sizes and GOD's rules and moods are subject to change
without notice and thou shall just fuckin'deal with it!
If you were a judge which ten would you
pick?
1.
Thou shall announce "Crap Game" when a nice
looking lady walks by.
2.
Thou shall not announce false "crap
games".
3.
Thou shall soft hustle.
4.
Thou shall ask the player if he wants a beer with that
shot he just took at you.
5.
Thou shall not accept late bets from strokers.
6.
Thou shall honor all thy Georges.
7.
Thou shall honor all of thy crew by doing what we do
when she wants to throw the dice that makes our job so nice (SS)
8.
Thou shall use creative stick calls and keep them fresh.
9.
Thou shall come up from break on time.
10.
Thou shall always have the TV on ESPN or a SPORTS RELATED channel in the break
room.
11.
Thou shall always reserve the couch
in the dealers lounge FOR CRAPS DEALERS ONLY!!!!
12.
Thou shall uphold tradition by
always busting the balls of a break in dealer.
13.
Thou shall always respect
and admire the blackjack dealers (THAT SUPPORT YOUR ASS!)
14.
Thou shall play dumb and
deny everything.
15.
Thou shall always sing like Sinatra when "the boys are in the
game".
16.
Thou shall ALWAYS return
from break with thy sports scores!
17.
Thou shall always assume
the POW position on a dead game.
18.
Thou shall look attentive
and eager as the news of the casinos ever changing policies and procedures goes
in one ear and out the other!
19.
Thou shall LEARN HOW TO
SPEAK @#$%@&#
ENGLISH when dealing on the stick!!!!!
20.
Thou shall always remember
that the Boxperson is your GOD and that Floor supervisors are "GODS
BOSS!"
21.
Thou shall always
shut thy @#$%@& mouth and deal thy @#$%@& game!
22.
Thou shall book all bets!
23. Thou
shall Beat the living hell out of any stick-person who thinks what we do
when she wants to throw the dice that makes our job so nice
is sexist!
24.
Thou shall cover thy ass at
all times while on the game.
25. Thou
shall send in any and all bonehead moves by craps dealers for "tales from
the dice pit"
26.
Thou shall NOT deal like an elephant
by pounding on the table when paying your place bets.
27. Thou
shall keep a straight face when the new kid is asked to get the puck polish
during his next break.
28.
Thou
shall never convert and total the don'ts "just to see if
surveillance in watching."
29.
Thou
shall listen and learn when an old school supervisor takes the time to tell you
how it really was in Vegas before it became a commercialized, let's bring the
kids for vacation, and let's hit all of the fun roller coasters type of town.
30. Thou shall have sex with as
many cocktail servers as possible and keep thy running score
31.
Thou
shall never call a "seven out!" on a "winner seven!"
32.
Thou
shall NEVER take this business so serious that it gives you gray hair or ulcers.
33.
Thou
shall advise to those seeking thy advise NOT to get into the "today's"
casino business
34. Thou shall
never let fleas infest your game.
35.
Thou shall respect the suit if not the person
36. Thou
shall respect thy years of experience if not the person
37. Thou
shall never forget thou were once a break-in whilst thou "breaketh the
balls of the thy"
38.
Thou shall NEVER forget that the King George might be the guy you didn't let get
to the game
39.
Thou shall only
be concerned with thy actions and not what everyone does
40.
Thou shall ALWAYS
run over thy who TRY to run over you.
41.
Thou shall always try to
excel in dealing dice, never becoming a LUMP!
42.
Thou shall always alert the
box when any hotties are in view!
43.
Thou shall never
"pick the line " after "firing one up"!!
44. Thou
shall not fall asleep again while sitting box!
Thou shall not fall asleep again while sitting box!
Thy must remember Thou shall not fall asleep again while
sitting box!
45.
Thou shall NOT hand off come bets to
someone not toking you
46.
Thou shall always ask for thy early out.
47. Thou
shall remain patient during that long eight, cause it only takes one King George
to stop by to make that toke box look oh so great!
48.
Thou shall not run George out of the color
he is toking me!!!!!!
49.
Thou
shall with loud and clear voice thank the flea that walked and forgot their
"last come" bet, whilst handing it to the box as a hand-in.
50. Thou
shall always remember to teach the new guy what to do when she wants to shoot
the dice that makes our job so nice.....even if the new guy is a girl!
51.
Thou shall try to
give the dealer whose Friday it is .... the pole!
52.
Thou
shall except the fact that the male craps dealer and supervisor is a sexist
pig!
53.
Thou
shall always hog the eo spot when working with lumps
54.
Thou shall never question god (the boxman)
55.
Thou
shall never release gas in the dice pit
56.
Thou shall always forget the payouts when a lump is sitting box !
57.
Thou
shall NEVER allow your wife to work in
the same casino
58.
Thou
shall always maintain an ace in the hole (another career)
59.
Thou
shall do into other dealers as they do into you
60.
Thou
shall always remember "what goes around, comes around"
61.
Thou
shall be an actor at work of "Shakespearean proportions."
62.
Thou
shall mind thy own business, come to work and deal thy game at the best of thy
ability and don't get thyself involved in internal political bullshit
63.
Thou
shall always remember when dealing craps to K.I.S.S.
64.
Thou
shall never trust anybody in the casino business including players and never
assume they can be trusted.
65.
Thou
shall never rely on someone else too "take care of you"
66.
Thou
shall sit here like an idiot and stare at thy monitor for an hour and not think
of one commandment to send in!
67.THOU
SHALL TELL THE PLAYER THAT IF HE DON'T HIT THE BACK WALL, WE ARE GOING TO FINE
HIM $5.00 (AND USE THAT FOR THE DEALERS TOKES)
68.THOU
SHALL ASK THE PLAYER WHO HAS TOSSED A $5.00 CHIP FOR CRAP
ELEVEN........"THANK YOU SIR, HOW ABOUT YOURSELF???
69.THOU
SHALL TRY TO KNOCK THE WIG OFF WITH THE STICK .....OF THE PLAYER STANDING
NEXT TO YOU.
70.THOU
SHALL NOT ASK IF IT'S TIME TO GO HOME AT THE BEGINNING OF A SHIFT.
71.THOU
SHALL HOLD UP FIVE FINGERS TO THE PLAYER AND CONFIRM HE WANTED A $1000.00
MARKER.
72.THAU
SHALL HOLD UP ONE FINGER TO THE PLAYER ,AND CONFIRM HE WANTED A $500.00 MARKER
73.THOU
SHALL ASK BREAK-IN PLAYERS FOR A $5.00 MYSTERY BET AND THEN PLACE IT ON ALL THE HARDWAYS AND A YO........FOR THE DEALERS.
74.When
auditioning for a dice dealing job, thou shall respect all past and present
dealers by taking pride in their appearance by ironing thy shirt, knowing thy
payouts, and having thy hands in shape to deal a clean, smooth, and professional
game.
75.
Thou shall come to work "hungover" as often as
needed but no less than once a week.
76.
Thou
shall deal according to policies and procedures...until the shift boss leaves
the pit.
77.
Thou shall always remember the incantation of resurrection, "TWO
WAY"
78.
Thou shall not give
$20 dice lessons.
79.
Thou shall not ask the "flamer"
standing next to the base if he wants to "shoot"!
80.Thou
shall not engage in conversation with a blackjack dealer that is not a prelude
to sex!
81. Thou shall
not start any conversation on the game with a " bulldyke " for they
are the spawn of Satan sent here to ruin our pristine playground.
82.
Thou
shall tell the idiot floorperson, who lied about knowing dice in order
to get promoted to pit, " I have to go to the restroom ....RIGHT NOW! "
83. Thou shall
accept the fact that Pit Managers got their jobs for who they blew not what
they knew!
84. Thou
shall not ever call a skank to the game just for fun!
85.
Thou shall
understand that above all else, pussy is the reason we all put up with this
bullshit!
86. THOU
SHALL """DUMP THE BOWL""" (BEFORE THE FLEA HAS THE
CHANCE TO SAY "SAME DICE")
87. Thou Shall
NOT choose, just drop it in the box!
88. THOU
SHALL ALWAYS TELL THE PLAYERS, TO PLEASE STAND BEHIND THE WHITE LINE IF THEY
ARE NOT PLAYING.
89.
90. THOU
SHALL MARK THE POINT AND NOT WHATEVER YOU FEEL LIKE MARKING.
91. THOU SHALL
ALWAYS REMEMBER TO "FORGET" TO PICK UP THE DON'T COME BET FIRST ON A
SEVEN OUT, CAUSE EVERYONE MIGHT THINK YOU KNOW HOW TO DEAL BY PROCEDURE.
92. THOU
SHALL ALWAYS REMEMBER TO HAVE A MOMENT OF SILENCE WHEN THE DEALERS HARDWAYS
FALL
93. Thou
shall accept the fact that that your boxperson , aka "GOD" comes
in all shapes and sizes and GOD's rules and moods are subject to change
without notice and thou shall just fuckin'deal with it!
94.
Thou shall teach new
players how to bet for the dealers
95. Thou
shall NEVER
bear false witness to a dealer YO!
96. Thou
shall always buy thy instructor a bottle of JW at the conclusion of the
craps training lessons.
97.
Thou shall when on the day ships during Spring Break, practice your English
accent just in case the totty comes by.
98.
Thou Shall Always Let
Her Cock your Dice, ..but Never Let Her Dice Your .........!!!!!!
99. Thou
shall politely tell the hotties there are no odds on the dealers when she
nails one with the dice.
100.
Thou
shall always get the change wrong for the guy who keeps wanting to take his
6&8 from $72 each to $102 each
101.
Thou
shall always call two craps "the ace holes" no
matter who is standing in
the
pit!!
102.
Thou shalt laugh at my bad jokes.
-Yea, though I farteth, thou shalt remain as a pillar of salt.
103. Thou
shall sell prop bets in a thick country hick accent, while calling rolls in
a thick Asian accent!!!!
104.
Thou shall not hop thy own hardway!!!
105.
Thou
shall not say "Coming out from the dark side" when a big black guy
is going to be the shooter playing on the dont pass line! (I sure learned my
lesson)
106. Thou
shall not remind "stroke" every time his prop action falls.
107. Thou
Shall exercise the right to scream at the top of our lungs "Hands
high" Whenever a learner drops a bet in the field.
108.
Thou shall to remember that duel rate who rode your ass on his game
that the past 3 rolls were a 6 ,9 and 4
when he is dealing on your game!!
