DEALERS PAGE 9

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We had this asinine lady on our crap game the other night that waltzes up to our table with pussy-whipped husband in hand and shakes her finger at the boxman and screams "I don't understand this game!" - proceeds to throw a gaming guide at him, whereas I interrupt and explain in such a fashion that nobody could understand the game using a mix and match of game odds and payoffs to amplify her confusion.
"God dammit! How the hell to you play this fucking game? You people can't explain anything in plain English?
The pit boss came over to her and advised her to watch her language. She screams back her disgust with him and his employees, then promises never to return! 

Pit boss calls security to have her escorted out of the building insuring she keeps her promise.
Some people just blow me away at times!

Take your time and see if you can read each line aloud without a mistake. 

The average dealer can't.
This is this craps
This is is craps
This is how craps
This is to craps
This is keep craps
This is a craps
This is lump craps
This is busy craps
This is for craps
This is forty craps
This is seconds craps
Now go back and read the THIRD word in each line from the top down.

The stick and third base dealer were talking about a girl on the 21 game next to us, they were talking crap terms about her 6 and 8's and nice don't ect. The only player on the game looks at them and tells the dealers "Those are MY 6 and 8's", so the dealers apologize and then start talking about her in Spanish, the player again looks at them and says "Hablo también el español" 

You should have seen those guys faces, I was laughing my ass off !!!

Ok Scott I got a cute short story, shortly after YOU taught me dice I'm down at the Eldorado honing my skills. One of our bigger players comes in and starts firing up. The lump that's dealing to him can't get a payout right so the player says " if you screw up one more time I'm going to kick your ass in the parking lot" I'm on stick and don't know what to say or do. Later that day I ask my boss, Monte, what do you do when a player says he's going to kick your ass in the parking lot? Monte looks at me with a smile and says" you hope that you can kick HIS ass in the parking lot!!!!" Bye the way the player turned out to be King Kong George!!!!! 

Only in a dice pit!!!

Ode to the Dice Player: 

"No 10 for $200"  player dropped $205 down and the dealer set the bet up and put a (on) button on it. The box said "what are you doing" she said he said "no ten so I put the 'no' button on it"

I was sitting box in an Indian casino. It's a busy Saturday night and the table is packed. A young thing with a blouse dealers love to see is down the center. She's a virgin and keeps saying "I've never done this before". Since this was her first time and she was very excited, she would bounce up and down each time she picked up the dice. She rolled about 15 minutes, bouncing all the time, and with every number she'd roll the table would cheer. As I watched the game, I caught the eye of another woman standing and watching as her boyfriend played. She and I laughed to each other as this poor dumb girl had no clue as to why everyone was whooping and hollering. When she finally seven'd out, and everyone let out their moans and groans I asked if we should let her have "do-overs"...that again brought a cheer from the table. Of course we didn't, but it was a fun filled 15 minutes.

First I must set the scene. I deal in Kansas City home of the mafia, gangbangers ,and the occasional entrepreneur. If a player doesn't fit into one of those categories in KC he/she is probably a flea. So anyway i'm on 2nd base my entire side consists of black thug types (Judging only by dress and the wads of 20's). The other side is all Italian. My side playing the don'ts. As the stick sends the dice to the shooter on my side he notices that he is on the don't and innocently says "shooting from the dark side". This is followed by much much yelling and cussing. It is now a rule that we may not refer to the don't as 'the dark side'

From the burnout crapdealer dept.True story 

Dealer gets suspended 3 days for "disposal of red signs". Although I was off over the weekend our place likes to shuffle crews and Blue ($10) and red ($5)signs.This dealer who dealt at the Shoe for years finally got fed up over the weekend and when the game went dead took his red sign and thru it in the trashcan! Apparently the eye in the sky at first wanted to get him for littering. He is claiming he is colorblind and couldn't be held responsible.

I was sitting box on a game in Atlantic City in the early 80's, when a Japanese-American player walked up to my game and asked for a $500 marker. He got his marker and was in line to shoot the dice. He threw the dice down the table in a normal manner, only to have 1 die hit something and jump off. The stickman gives him the rest of the dice to pick from and the player shoots 2 new dice, only to have one hit a stack and fly off the table again. This time he draws a few more glares than he did the first time. Again, the stickman offers him all the dice, and again, you guessed it, a die inexplicably bounces off the table for the 3rd time. Now, every player, all the dealers, myself and the floorperson were staring at him. The player sensed all the attention, and with a smile, announced, "NOW YOU KNOW WHY WE LOST THE WAR!" Needless to say, everyone around the table was laughing for a good 2 minutes.

When I first came to town I was working at the old Carousel Club on Fremont Street. On my first day I was on the stick and Suzy Wong the infamous dragon lady came up to the table. Back then Suzy was really good looking and appeared clean cut. Mini skirts were in style and she had one on. She pt a nickel on the pass line and a nickel on eleven. She picked the dice up and threw one leg in the air. It was at this point that I noticed she wasn't wearing any underpants. She then yelled at the top of her voice 

"Come on eleven you moterfuckers!" 

That was my welcome to Las Vegas!!!

We'll call him "John"  from the Flamingo (70's) , he was dealing third base all luded out one night, dice rolled winner 8, he picks up all the bets and we yell at him "that it was a winner you asshole!" He still has the chips in his hand and puts them all on the corner 8, pays it and tells all the players to split it up themselves! Of course, they fired him...What a bonehead! 

I was working at the Horseshoe.  This was in 1975.  We were on a real busy game, lots of action.  A girl came up to the table that was about 6'2" tall, long blonde hair and an unbelievable figure, she was wearing a top that looked like a vest except it was more like a fish net vest.  Her nipples were protruding from this top.  The stick man calls a number at the same time she had just pulled out a cigarette the dealer on the base that she was on without even clapping his hands pulls out his lighter at the same time so do at least three players.  Not one person realized that a number was called and no one got paid and the game went on.

No? How about this one: 

There was a guy they called Sick Nick  He was a good crap dealer if you could find him sober. He got fired 10 times at the Shoe! His 9th time was my favorite! Sick Nick came to work and they fired him for something he did the previous day. So SN went to the bar and drank. About 30 minutes later the boss went to the bar and told him somebody didn't show up, so we are hiring you back! 

Only at the Shoe!

I was on the stick, one dealer has 8 marked the other 6 marked, I forget what the true number really is, so I ask the boxman, he doesn't know, we ask the players, they don't know, so I raise my right arm and say "Anyone who wants the 8 to be the point raise your hand" I count the votes, then continue "anyone who wants the 6 to be the point raise their hand." 8 wins and I say "Now that's democracy in action. We mark the 8 and the game goes on, both numbers would have been winners, so it worked out.

 "We we're on a dead game late at night at the Mint and we we're ready to go home and it was such a slow night and we only had $35 in the box when this customer comes up to the table.  The guy buys in for $3 grand and reaches over and tells the dealer on stick "I like watching these floormen sweat" ...First bet $200 flat and $50 for us with full odds. Snapped the winner right back and that started it off. The floorman, Pete always sweat the money so it was a match made in heaven, and the more he acted like that the more we won! This player was taunting him to no end.  We scored huge with this guy and Pete dam near died that night! One more hard 8 and we would have killed him! 

We had money for dealers all over the layout and 7-out rolled, Ben, on the stick, said in a very upset voice "Seven out line away!!!", the floor man told him to call the losers the same as he would the winners, to this Ben replied "So you want me to cry on the winners also?

"I'm in Canada, and we had some idiot throwing the dice wildly off and on the table. Eventually his stupidity caught up to when he threw the die and out come a package of sort out of the sleeve of his jacket. It's Christmas morning and no one really wanted to be there that day. But to make that morning so much more enjoyable was to find that the item that flew out of that idiots jacket was a chunk of COCAINE. His defence was that this was a Christmas gift and that it should be returned to him. "no action on the crack on the field" Happy New year. By the way, the cops escorted xmas crack head away in cuffs.

Circus Circus: (a few years ago) Al Bednar, sitting box, the game is very heavy and I was going top speed, one guy was strung out in red by the dealer before me, (guys deal to the rail please!!!) this same player had a $48 Six, I was paying the number and Al says "give him $61 and get a nickel back from him, not thinking I did just that and continued, Six rolls again so I do the same move $61 for $5, the I realized what I was doing so I turned to him starting to say how stupid that was, only to find him with a shit eating grin, he had got me good. The next thing Gary O'Keefe, my shift boss, comes running into the dice pit, points at me and laughs his ass off about what Al had suckered me into doing.

10 cent craps--a true "flea circus". Its 1974 and I'm working the 10 cent crap game at Harrah's Reno. 10 cent minimum, no stickman (inside stick), rack layout (the checks are in upright tubes like those on a 21 game). The game never dies. $2.70 across. 90 cents inside. 50 cent horn high 'yo'. Fleas 4 rows deep. Ike dollars and dime checks. One day a player gives me a handful of change and I miscount it and give him about 4 extra dimes. He never makes a bet, but heads straight for the cage to cash out!

We had an ex marine drill sergeant who ran the Circus Circus dice pit firmly but was the most fair and nice guy you want to be afraid of. One time he yelled "PAY THE FUCKING FIELD" and five dice games paid the field, he had to run stopping us from paying, then he told me "I have to be careful of what I say don't I? I said "yes sir." 

One time he told me to pay the come and I did, then he told me to take it back, he told me "Just Checking" smiled and went away. When he was dying of cancer our shift boss told us one of his daughters could not afford to come to Vegas to see him, we included him with a full share of tokes from every dice game that weekend, we raised over $3,000 for her in three days. Even the shift boss was hustling. Dice dealers took care of each other back then.

Here's one it took me months to live down. I sent the dice out and as I popped the stick up it came out of my hand, bounced on the floor and across the hallway between pits. After calling the number, I asked a young lady walking by to hand me the stick. As she handed me the stick a young guy walked right into it and racked himself! The best part was that he didn't even stop! He just said "goddammit" and kept on walking while the young lady tried to apologize!

We had a dice dealer who was told to deal Caribbean stud, having never dealt it and to proud to ask how, the players convinced the dealer ....2's were wild. 

This went on for a couple of hours and the only reason it stopped was because the dealer had a jackpot... two queens and two 2's (4 of a kind) lol

True story: I would tell you where I work but the story is still to fresh, you know what I mean? We have this Boxman from Oklahoma, Charlie, ....yea Charlie, anyway, one day this player waltzes up to the game wearing a red cap "N"  you know, like in Nebraska; and whenever this happens we know that 'Charlie' is going to go nuts. "Son, can you remove your cap on the game? ...Say what? Says the player....bla, bla, bla, .......here we go again.

The  point was 8,  Charlie tells the guy "I hope you throw a seven!" ...The player responds by telling Charlie about his mother in the back room of a frat house or something...They taunt each other, these people. It is a "true hatred with civility" as Charlie put it. "You wouldn't understand" he says. You should hear him whenever we get a player wearing a Cornhuskers t-shirt or jacket. Wow!

It's funny how Charlie seems to get all these players on his game isn't it? - lol

ATLANTIC CITY:

When we opened up Resorts in AC it was a zoo. I had craps experience that I received where I lived in Trenton, NJ. (Nothing I will elaborate on for legal reasons) but most of the kids who were dealers were 18, 19, and 20 years old and never saw a crap table before they went to Resorts Dealers School, but they all turned out to be good dealers, they had no choice, these East Cost wise guys knew the payouts on the bets before the dealer could figure it out, thus we learned quick!  I heard a dealer ask a boxman from Vegas what an unusual bet paid and the boxman said..............  

"Keep paying him until he smiles........then take one back"

Late night at a riverboat in Indiana. We had a couple of regulars-two midgets that ride those mechanical scooter things. They were notorious for getting drunk and racing thru the aisles. One night they decide to learn dice, and park their scooters on either side of the stick, standing on the seats. One was shooting when he lost his balance, hit the accelerator, knocked the stick flat on her ass and fell head first into the table. I'm standing floor, laughing my ass off.  To make matters even worse, our shooter was wearing shorts and no underpants...if you've ever wondered if little people are anatomically correct, I'm here to tell you ABSOLUTELY NOT! This guy was a walking tripod!

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