It's always fun when new BJ dealers come out on the floor - they make the rest of us look good!
1. New dealer calling "Shuffle!" every time she put the discards into the Automatic Continuous Shuffler.
2. New dealer standing to deal at one of our two sit-down handicapped tables.
3. New dealer being tapped out for break and never coming back to the table.

Chinese Pia Gow player goes in the casino and exchanges money and gets 200 yen.....next day he does the same thing and gets only 180 yen
He says to the cashier, hey how come yesterday I get two hundred and today only get one hundred eighty
Cashier says "fluctuations"
Chinese guy replies "fluc you too"

Well this morning I started my day on the wheel with 3 of the cutest little Japanese girls I've ever seen in my life. They were just too cute.

Anyway, they spoke poor broken English, and my Japanese is well, about 3 phrases long. LOL. Anyhow, at one point we would mimic each other to learn how to say something in the others' language.

Two Mexican fellows wearing pink shirts came to the table and bought in 100 bucks. Of course, I gave them the pink chips. The Mexican fellow spread a bunch of chips and his partner exclaimed "marecon power!!" that means fag power or some such nonsense.. lol... it was just funny because of all the pink.

Well, the marecon power thing goes on for a bit, every time he'd hit I'd say here you go, marecon! they would laugh. it was fun.

Well, the Mexican fellow decided to make a 20 bucks or so bet on black, and as he did so, exclaimed "BLACK POWER!" and made a fist in the air.

The Japanese girls, in their wonderfully cute mimicking cuteness, put some money on black as well and shouted "BLACK POWER!!!" making the same fist in the air.

Now let me tell you, I could just not resist making that same fist and yelling BLACK POWER!!! after I spun the ball.... there is just something so funny about a table of Japanese, Mexican, and one white boy yelling BLACK POWER in a casino like Wynn.

I wish I had it on film, I nearly died laughing. I broke in  when I was 21.Lawrenceburg Indiana got a casino which was the closest one to Cincinnati. I was young sarcastic and obnoxious, especially going fro no job to 55k a year I ruled. Well we were not allowed to convert blackjacks at all unless told to by the pit only. Well I was dealing my game one night and I was low on red and this guy got a 20$ blackjack. I figures what's the big deal so I came out with 2 green and took the 4 red. Immediately I was told to see the pit when I got tapped off. Well she was a Bitch with a capital C so I knew I was f..ked. She blew up "Don't you ever convert a blackjack in my pit, see this is why we hate breakins, you think you know the business and you know nothing!" Well about an hour later a guy bet a dollar chip for me, and got a blackjack. We didn't have 50 cent pieces only 2.50 chips. I was stuck in one of those situations where I was old enough to know better, but to young to care. I yelled out" FLOOR" and sure as @#%$ CUNNING CAME THE RUNT. She said wets the problem? I looked down at the bet and said" how do I pay this?" "E.G.. do you mean how do you pay that, you drop a 2.50 chip and take the dollar!" she arrogantly said to me. I then replied to her" You mean convert?" we never got along after that

Another true story from the Shoe in the late 70's ..... One night a guy playing BJ asked the floor for some matches for his cigarette and the floor looked at the podium and couldn't find any so he reached into his coat pocket and handed him his.
The gambler opened the book of matches and behind the matches was half a joint!
The gambler tried to light it!
The floorman went nuts! .... What the hell are you doing?
Player: Well, you gave it to me!
Floor: Oh shit! give me that!
Player: Can I keep the matches?  

Oh the good ol days huh?

This is a true story about  a dealer I worked with years ago. We went outside in the alley to take a toke (I was just a kid) and he put the roach in the back of the matches too. As we were walking IN THE CASINO back to the pit he starts yelling and slapping his hip! The whole book caught in fire in his front pocket!! Good thing we were not on the game! Man I laughed my ass off!!

One night I'm dealing 21 in downtown Vegas and chattin' it up with the players except for one old guy on 1st base. He's wearing a cowboy hat, bolo tie and the rest of the western wear so popular in the West. 

I ask him if he's from around here, (It's not uncommon to see western dressed people downtown who are locals) 

and he answers "Do I look retarded?" 

I'm not sure I heard him correctly so I asked him again. 

He says "Do I look fuckin retarded?" 

I'm kind of insulted by this and without another thought I respond,

 "If I thought that, I would have asked if you were from Texas." 

The table is crackin up at this and he turns beet red and doesn't say another word. 

I found out from the floor that he was from Waco.

This is true. Too bad its not a table games story but it does involve a dealer. We call him "Rat Trap" Some call him "RT"
"RT" smokes. He smokes at work in the smoking room. Anyway, "RT" keeps leaving his smokes in the pocket of his windbreaker that he hangs on the wall. Apparently he had been doing this for a while. Lately some asshole has been stealing his smokes.
"RT" the fucking genius he is, decides to "load" a real heavy duty rat trap in the inside pocket of his windbreaker.
You know where this story is going.
Very painful I understand. Rumor has it the asshole broke a couple of fingers but that cant be substantiated. And YES the damn thing worked in the pocket of the windbreaker.
It was a hot topic of conversation. Honest to god, Security was told not to talk about it to employees.
'Rat Trap" got his ass suspended for a week and a hero's welcome back. The asshole hasn't been seen since. That suspension was pending for a while and "RT" could have been fired and almost was from what I understand. 

6 or 7 years ago I was standing on a dead roulette game at Circus Circus when a guy came and sat down to play. He was in his late 40s, messy long hair, unshaven, and had worn out jeans on with a beat up ass old Black Sabbath rock shirt on. He reminded me of Chong. He set his can of Old Style on the table so he could get his money out of his front pocket. I grabbed a cup holder for his beer and slid it across the table to him. He then put his $11 buy-in inside the cup holder and slid it back across the table to me like we were at a bank drive-thru or something. The floor and I lost it and busted out laughing. Once we finally got ourselves under control, I explained to him what the cup holder was for. He replied with a simple "cool". After a few minutes of playing he colored up his $18 and left the table. He definitely made my day and from that point on I vowed to never smoke weed ever again!

You're not going to believe this one but its true!!
At work last night this gal sits at the game and BAMM!!!
I thought it was my sister from Montana. I mean this girl was the spitting image of her. Face, figure, hair...(My sis looks good)
We joked around all night long and being slow on Monday and all I got an EO at 1am
I told her good night, thanks for the laughs and good luck.
I'm outta here!
I went to the other pit to sign out and upon leaving the floor she walks up and asks if I want to have a drink. Can't drink here I told her so we met up at the bar next door.
We drank and laughed for hours.
Next thing you know .....This could be my lucky night!
But wait a minute!!! She looks just like my sister!!!
Hell I had a few beers!!!
You ever get that devil on one shoulder and an angel on the other?
Fuck her Sam!!!

No, no don't fuck her!!! It would be like fucking your sister!!!

Sick huh?

What to do what to do..........????????

Answer...

The devil made me do it!!!!!

When I first came state side worked on cruise ships out of Fl, each time you move within the company to a new boat you had the BS of getting to no you all over again, and braking in. I worked on large vessels out of Ft Lauderdale this particular trip I'm in the BY pit slapping plastic, I'm grinding away on a $5 maybe $10 game having some laughs with the punters. The seas were a little rocky and occasionally a customer may lose there balance, while I'm dealing I motion to this nice older gent who at the exact same time falls back, I shout FLOOR, as his wife shouts at me HIT ME, I said ma'am your husband has fallen over ! She said yeah and he still wants me to hit it for him. The sad part is the guy died right there, when I heard the guy had passed away I was shocked, saddened even. When I asked what time we would get back (expecting an early return) the suit said same as usual, what about the dead guy, you can't just leave him there, the suit said are you kidding me ? we need all the chairs we can get, he's going in the fridge next to the beer.

I heard this story from the floorperson that was involved, so I know it was true. At the MGM in Detroit, procedures state that the dealer on BJ has to hold the cut card over their head and yell "Shuffle!" until approval is given. One night, my friend has a dealer that had graduated the class, but couldn't start immediately because of pregnancy, so this was her first night of live game experience after being out of class for 3 months. All is going well, and the dealer shouts shuffle. Busy at another table the floor says "Shuffle up" without looking. Five seconds later the dealer again shouts "Shuffle.." The floor, still busy shouts back "I said go ahead and shuffle". Not more than ten seconds later, she again hears "Shuffle!!" The floor is so ticked off she turns and, through gritted teeth grumbles,"I said shuffle, what's the problem??" The dealer replies, "I can't get the cards out without your key." "What key??" Turns out, the dealer was shoving the used cards in to the locked toke box attached to the table!!!

I was dealing single deck BJ to this guy about 2 months ago and just thoroughly kicking his ass. Every hand he would mutter "Jesus Christ" For 20 minutes this goes on, me kicking his but and him muttering "Jesus Christ" louder and louder. Finally he draws a Blackjack. As I'm tucking my second card under, he turns his cards over, throws his hands up and smugly says "It's a Miracle!" I look at him, smile my best customer service smile and say, "Of course it's a miracle sir, after all, I'M JESUS CHRIST!" He colors up and leaves and for the next 20 minutes the rest of my players are asking me when I plan on walking on water and turning water to wine.
Just goes to show, once in a great while it pays to be a smart ass.

This happened when I was on snapper one night. I was tired, hung over and generally didn't want to be there. I got stuck on a tiny, flea ridden nickel table on a weekend. It was packed, seven players wide and at least two deep. Everyone was drunk and trying to tip so I wanted them to get drunker and have a good time. We were joking and high fiving, I was rooting them on. They adopted the phrase, "Give me some love", which they used whenever they got an ace first.
So, first base was this fat woman with a huge voice and next to her was this drunk guy trying to nail her. Every time she got an ace they would scream "Give me love, Grace, give me love!" I had guys on craps games telling us to keep it down.
Finally, the lady got an ace first and the guy got a face. We're screaming for her love when she pulls a three and he pulls an ace. He's screaming and dancing around, giving high fives for his blackjack when I say, "Wow! He got it! He got the back door love!"  
The table went silent. I swear, you could hear crickets chirping and shit. The dude at third base started laughing, I mean he nearly pissed himself. I looked at them and said, "Did I just say back door love?" They all laughed for a while and eveything was cool. Now they all call blackjacks whith faces first "prison sex".
At the time I just wanted some katsup and salt to go with the words I should've eaten.

Okay I don't normally tell stories but this one I've got to. This actually happened and it happened tonight at our casino.
March 30, 2004.
Dealer is dealing at a $5 BJ table. A normal looking, not impaired individual sits down. The lady reaches into her purse and puts down a quarter, an actual quarter .25 into the spot. The dealer notices during his hand sweep thinking that it's funny bypasses her and deals around. He's dealing the hand and notices that the lady is reaching into her purse, assuming she's getting more money, but also notices that she is kinda fiddling around. He finishes his round and starts the hand sweep, looking at her spot and to his amazement (sorta in shock) notices she has added to her bet.....THREE MENTOS, you know....the candy. 

Thinking that she is just trying to be funny (and trying not to laugh himself) deals around. She gets upset and calls the pit boss over and says to him " your dealer didn't deal me in the last 2 rounds...why?" She was serious. The pit boss looks over and to his amazement he looks and sees a .25 and 3 mentos. "well lady we can't take candy in a casino". So he calls the other pit boss over to look at her bet and the pit boss was shocked and speechless, he just shrugged and said "I dunno" with a confused look on his face. The lady took her bet and left.

Needless to say we nearly pissed ourselves laughing on our smoke break. They said there seemed to be nothing wrong her. And how would you pay that if it was a blackjack. .25 black with 3 mentos pays 4 1/2 mentos and .37 1/2 cents.

I was walking the floor in Reno and watching this sweet old southern lady playing alone on a $25 BJ game. It was pretty quiet when a large African/American man walked up to third base and placed a $100 chip. The dealer smiled at the gentleman, wishes him 'good luck' then calls out "Black Plays". Without missing a beat the little southern belle says (all serious) "Don't make a fuss... I don't mind if he plays." Thankfully the guy bursts out laughing and I needed a break!

When I worked at Slots-A-Fun, we saw all kinds of stuff.....one that I remembered after reading yours was this guy who was playing at the dollar table which is near the front of the casino. He was playing what he had left because his wife was out in the front with their baby in the stroller. The wife was getting pissed at having to wait. He puts up a bet for 93 dollars. What does he get...I know we all know...Aces. Of course he wants to split the aces, but doesn't have the money to do so. So he says, "hang on, my wife has the money". The floor tells me to hang on a sec. The man runs outside, I see him arguing with the wife...then he takes the gold ID bracelet off the BABYS arm and runs back and puts it next to the bet. I almost died laughing. He really thought this would be a legal bet. Needless to say, he lost the hand after the floor (through gales of laughter) told the guy its not a bet and instructed me to hit the hand. I just couldnt believe that he took the baby's bracelet.

A dealer left work on his Friday. But instead of going home, he stayed out the entire weekend playing golf with the boys going to titty bars and spending his entire weeks tokes.

When he finally appeared at home two days later, he was confronted by his furious wife and was bombarded for his actions with an angry tirade for over two hours.

Finally his wife stopped the nagging and simply said to him, "How would you like it if you didn't see me for two or three days?" To which the husband replied: "That would be fine with me."

Monday went by and he didn't see his wife. Tuesday went by and he didn't see his wife. Wednesday came and went with the same results.

Finally on Thursday the swelling went down just enough to where he could see her a little bit out of the corner of his left eye

Dealing roulette

Player had problem on the game, dealer calls over floor, but floor has $5 flea-infested craps game, so here comes pit boss. Overweight black guy, this pit boss, but just got out of the hospital after heart surgery--lost some weight, looked a lot better, and he said he felt so much better!! Guy with the problem loses all patience, and says, "get out of here, you fat-ass motherfucker!!" to the pit boss. He calmly replies, "Sir, I just got out of the hospital, and lost 75 pounds. You call me a SKINNY-ass motherfucker now!!!" ENTIRE table (save for this asshole, who is red as a beet), both sides, broke up completely, dealers, players, even the floor and box heard from the flea-craps game. Me? I was the RO dealer on break---came back, they're like, "Mike, Mike, you missed it!!" I'm like, "WHAT? WHAT?" They told me, and now I bust a gut laughing---just the deadpan of it... LOL just typing this....

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I am sure a couple of my fellow employees will recognize this story, but it is too stupid not to post....Happened over the weekend, and is good for a laugh. Also is a good story for newbies out there to see what kind of geniuses play at a casino.
Guy playing Spanish 21 up the middle, 2 hands. Gets a blackjack and a hard 20. Dealer pays the BJ, and heads to first base. Guy takes 5 bucks off his blackjack, and then ADDS it to his hard 20. (Dealer missed the post-press).
Dealer then pulls 21, and takes the post-pressed bet. Player then throws a FIT because he ILLEGALLY capped his bet, and should get his 5 bucks back. He demands to see the Boss, who immediately is called over and explains what bad things will happen to him if he tries that stunt again.

Wile E. Coyote....SUPER GENIUS.....
And I get paid to see this stuff happen.

One night I was dealing at a BJ table and I was making every hand . Everyone at the table were roaring "Can't you bust?" Well I am a 36 DDD so hearing them wine over and over finally I bellowed out "If I Bust anymore I wont ever find a bra my size :)

 One night I was having a great time dealing to a group of 7 fine looking men and they all had a little to drink. The guy on first base was getting double down hands every hand for the first half of the shoe. He was brave to double down considering the game was a nickel game and he had about 300 in red in front of him. So he doubled on every hand and would point and say "Come on Jenny Give me a big one " Finally after hearing him say this over and over I looked over at him and said "If the Good Lord didn't bless you with a big one I can't help you now."

It's all in the job related terminology:

We like to deal in a good "joint", to "High" table minimums that are an attempt to "weed" out the low "rollers". By the way, casinos don't discriminate, so as long as you have money, you can play even if you're a "brownie". Unlike poker, you're playing against the house instead of the other players, so there's no "pot". 

When playing Blackjack and you have a low hand, you take a "hit" from the "dealer". Your objective in taking "hits" is to get the "high" hand. If the "dealer" gives you a lot of good "hits", you'll want to give him a "toke". After all, he's helped to increase your "stash" of chips. If your "stash" increases substantially, you'll probably be feeling some "ecstasy", and you should give the "dealer" another "toke". 

If the other players are winning too, you'll all become "buds". It's fun to see another player's face "light up" when he's dealt a natural. If you win a substantial amount, the casino will have you fill out some "papers" for the IRS. Blackjack has a different decorum that Craps, and if you make too much noise the pit boss may ask you to "pipe" down. 

If you're really obnoxious, the "dealer" may "buzz" security. If you're really bad, they may ask you to leave, but they won't "bong" you on the head. Finally, remember that if you're playing a face-up game, then don't touch your cards, or the "dealer" may "smack" you.

True story: One of our casino hosts came up to us the other night with a funny one. He said a customer wanted to reserve a game at 9 pm for himself and a couple of friends. So the host assumed this was a big player and tried to get some information on the guy. It didn't take long to figure out the guy had no credit line set up and he was in the database as a $10 average bet blackjack player. The inquisitive host asked a few questions only to find out the guy had seen a reserved sign on one of the games earlier that day and assumed anyone could reserve a table. Apparently he was simply making reservations for 9pm!

The scene: A dead $3 Blackjack table at a small Midwest riverboat casino. A player walks up to the dealer and asks, "Is this the cheapest table you got?" To which I hear the dealer ask him back, "Why, are you the cheapest player we got?"

 "It sure as hell wasn't funny then but it is now. I was young, full of piss and vinegar and I was driving down from Tahoe to Vegas, ran out of money in Tonopah, Nevada asked for a job and got hired at the "Mizpah" dealing BJ. I met this fine looking gal, she said she was 21 years old and she looked like it being from Tonopah and all, so I thought to myself, what the hell, anyway one thing led to another and the next day, her redneck father came up to the game with a shotgun and chased me through the casino and right out of town! I quickly left  with only the clothes on my back a full tank of gas and what little cash I had left over from one nights envelope.

At the Flamingo a few years ago, we sent our floormen to pick up some chicken wings at the Four Kegs bar & grill, that's right, we paid our floorman to drive across town and get the dealers some wings.( It was a different time back then,) anyway, when he arrived he ran into one of the shift managers who was sitting at the bar with some friends enjoying his night off there.

Not good. Boy, did we have some explaining to do! I would give you some names here but since they still work there I'll just stir the pot, you know what I mean?

My audition at the Flamingo back in 1967, they put me behind a single deck BJ game and I'm very nervous and all, I shuffle the cards, then I deal my first hand and I deal myself an ace of hearts on top, anyway I ask for insurance and just as I peak at my hole card, ace of spades, this guy turns over a blackjack with an ace of spades. I think to myself; wait a minute here, I have the the ace of spades and when I check my hole card again, the guy gets spooked and starts to run! 

Would you believe I left my game and grabbed the guy. Cards flying every which way, I'm screaming and yelling, everyone was very confused as to why I did that. It was so funny. I scared the daylights out of everybody .....including myself.

Wow! Now that's what I call an audition. .....I got hired without even dealing a full hand!!!

Years ago (1976) I was dealing 21 on Graveyard Shift at the Aladdin. I had a friend who dealt dice, Victor Jeramello and we had dealt together previously at the Rainbow Club in Henderson before getting on a the Aladdin.

One morning I passed by to say good morning to Victor as I was leaving from Graveyard shift and he was coming in for Days. Just then Joe Michael the Dice Pit Boss came by to tell Victor that Nate Glassman (the Casino Manager) had told him to have you (Victor) get a hair cut. Victor said OK, Joe, I’ll do it when I get off.

The next day I heard the greatest story about how it used to be!! About 3:30 P.M that afternoon Nate came back by the dice pit and saw Victor and Joe Michael and told Joe to fire Victor. Joe said what did he do? Nate said I told you to have him get a haircut! Joe said Jesus Nate it’s the same day the kid hasn’t even gotten off to go get a haircut.

Some Casino Managers drank a bit in those days but in any event they were all tough!!

About a year ago, we had a guy smoking this big old stogie, maybe about three inches long, with a red hot tip on it, blowing smoke into the dealers face, she could not take it but carried on dealing (BJ) when the end fell off and landed on his lap and caught his pants on fire, (well, heavy smoldering) He started to jump up and down on his seat, when the rest of the players threw their drinks on him. It was a sight to see. I think the dealer pissed herself from laughter.

Jim Keller, best 21 guy in the world, he knew every way to cheat invented, he used to teach at UNLV on this. One time I was dealing 21 at Circus Circus and the floor person told me to shuffle, I was counting the cards and told her "I am not going to shuffle, I have a good count going" (they were stiffs so I wanted them gone) She went to Jim who was watching and told him what I had said and he told her "I was right not to shuffle and I had a good count going" She was pissed. Later she came over and asked me "Do you think you are so good no one can tell you what to do?" I replied, "No I am so good YOU can't tell me what to do." I had an ego problem at the time :o)

Reno Nevada, A man in a hot air balloon realized he was lost. He reduced altitude and spotted a woman below. He descended a bit more and shouted, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am." The woman below replied, "You're in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You're between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude." "You must be an engineer," said the balloonist. "I am," replied the woman, "How did you know?" "Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is, technically correct, but I've no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help at all. If anything, you've delayed my trip." The woman below responded, "You must be in Casino  Management." "I am," replied the balloonist, "but how did you know?" "Well," said the woman, "you don't know where you are or where you're going. You have risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise, which you've no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you to solve your problems. The fact is you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now, somehow, it's my fault."

I deal BJ at _________ and it was slow. I had this older couple (stiffs) grinding out on a nickel game for damn near the whole shift taking turns playing while the other walks around and such. He smokes cheep cigars, shirt untucked, fat belly hanging out, you get the picture. They are both drunk and doing nothing but playing minimum bets every other hand constantly demanding the whereabouts of the cocktail waitress. The guy leaves and the wife comes back 5 minutes later and starts playing again then asks " Have you seen my husband?" whereas I reply "Yes mam, he went that way with your daughter"

Prayer for the Stressed out casino dealer.
Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I cannot accept, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those players I had to kill today because they pissed me off.
And also dear lord, help me to be careful of the toes I step on today, as they may be connected to the ass that I may have to kiss tomorrow.
Help me to always give 100% at work... 12% on my Monday, 23% on my Tuesday, 40% on my Wednesday, 20% on my Thursday, and 5% on my Friday.
And help me to remember... When I'm having a really bad day, and it seems that players are trying to piss me off, that it only takes 42 muscles to frown, and only 4 to extend my middle finger and tell them to bite me...

Thank you Lord.   

A couple of years ago I worked at Slots-a-Fun here in Las Vegas. For those of you not familiar with the joint, it has a craps table and a couple of BJ next to the front door where you can literally see the sidewalk and the cars traveling on Las Vegas Blvd. One evening it was very slow and while taking my break outside I found a $5 chip from the Riv (casino across the street) and "super glued" it on the sidewalk where we could see people trying to pick the chip up. Man I used a whole tube of super glue to insure that chip was going nowhere. You talk about funny shit, would you believe that chip kept all three shifts entertained before someone finally pried it lose. 

Priceless

A Player walks into a California Indian casino and asks the pit boss:

"Where are the roulette tables?"

We only have blackjack and slot machines sir

"But I want to play roulette!"

We only have blackjack and slot machines sir

"But I want to play roulette!"

Sir, with all due respect, what would you call it if I took the word 'black' out of blackjack?

"Well lets see, umm....jack?"

Correct sir, and if I took the word 'machine' out of 'slot machine?'

"Why you would have .......slots"

Correct sir, and if I took the word 'fuck' out of roulette?

"There is no 'fuck' in roulette?????"

Correct sir!, That's what I've been trying to tell you!

The other night I was invited out for a night with the girls I work with here at Harrah's, we get off at 8pm so I called my husband and said "I would be home by midnight...I promise!"
Well, the hours passed and the champagne was going down way too easy. Around 3 a.m., drunk as a skunk, I headed for home. The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in, and I told him 12 o'clock. He didn't seem disturbed at all. (Whew! Got away with that one!).
Then he said we need a new cuckoo clock. When I asked him why, he said, "Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times normally, then said,
"Oh shit!", cuckooed 4 more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another 3 times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then farted.

Golden Nugget dealer (new hire) from somewhere down south is bragging about how the Atlanta Falcons are going to win this years superbowl. Our shift manager overhears the conversation and the next thing you know the dealer is taken out of the pit for a random drug test!  

About 6-7 years ago i was working at Tropicana in AC when they close our crap game & get sent to Pit 1-mostly break-in BJ dealers. I end up on a game next to a first night dealer about 20-21 yrs old, sweating profusely, all disheveled-shirt hanging out etc. Floor man is needed on game behind him to settle some beef when I turn to my right and see the newbie walk off the game. I immediately scream out FLOOR!! Floor man & Pit-Boss nearly knock each other over to secure table. Later I find out a player asked the dealer if he could have an ashtray, since there were none available on table, the dealer thought he could just go get one for him!

My wife thought it was funny and that I should send in the story. This guy buys in  for $500. I ask him if he has a players card. He mistakenly hands me his room key (which is one of those new card keys) so jokingly I raise my eyebrows and wink and ask "when be a good time. I get off work at 4am".  We all have a little laugh and he replaces it with the players card. No harm no foul, life goes on. That is until 4am. He took me serious I guess. When confronted, I refused his advances politely. The next night....same thing! Room key instead of players card, stalking me all night! 4am comes and there he is!....The next night, SAME THING ALL OVER AGAIN! This motherfucker is stalking my ass....LITERALLY!

Never again, NEVER will I joke around like that ever on a game!

Not to mention names, we'll just call him Frank. 

Frank works on the floor swing shift 7pm-3am.

Frank wakes up in a panic at 6:45 

Obviously thinking he is going to be late, he immediately calls the shift boss and explains why he overslept...

The graveyard shift boss interrupts and calmly says:

"No problem, take your time."

 A dealer showed up early for his audition at a Castaways blackjack table. He stood anxiously to the side, watching with awe as the dealer on the game deftly arched the cards through the air. His eyes followed the cards as they landed in neat little stacks, and if somebody asked him later how many players were at the table he wouldn't be able to say. All he saw were fingers and chips and beer bottles. 

Suddenly the pit boss nodded, and it was the young dealer's turn. The weeks of practice and study were blurred in his head as he took the deck from the other man. He cautiously stole a look at the pit boss as he began to deal the cards, and saw with alarm that there were now two pit bosses watching him. With that, the young dealer's eyes rolled back and down he went in a dead faint. Instantly, two elderly security guards broke into action. One dragged the dealer away from the table, while the other hobbled to a nearby office where a tank of oxygen was kept for such emergencies. Together they worked frantically over the fallen dealer, one holding his limp body down while the other inserted a dusty mouthpiece and turned on the oxygen. 

Success! The dealer's feet began to move, slowly at first, then faster and faster, and now his hands were clawing at the air -- hands that had abruptly turned bright blue!  

  "Check the oxygen," hollered one guard to the other.

"Oh, no," replied the second. "The damn thing's empty!"

 All craps dealers must learn blackjack!...No exceptions!!!! (You all know where this story is going) There we are, a group of crap dealers dealing BJ for the first time, mistakes left and right with all the trimmings, cards on the floor, knocked over shoes on the floor, mis-deals, total chaos - you get the picture. Anyway, I closed my game down about 2 am and was told to go and give "Gil" (crap dealer) a break in pit 4.  I tap him out and deal the first hand. Two of the players want to split their hand, one has a 3 and a 10 the other a 6 and a 9. I said "you can't split those, they have to be the same. They reply " Gil lets us split what ever we want!"( now keep in mind we are well over 6 hours into the shift) I'm sorry , but the rules of the game says you can't do that, and I'm wondering who the hell the floorman is on this game..............

You guessed it......A floorman from the dice pit!

Pizza saved my roommates job

About 10 years ago I was dealing at a strip casino. I had a irresponsible roommate who was a dealer at the same casino (imagine that). One weekend we had our phone disconnected because my roommate ran up our phone bill on 1-800 porn phone calls, and didn't pay the bill. Well the night before he had a all nighter with some hooker he picked up and when I left to go to work at 5:30pm he was still sleeping (he was scheduled at 8:00pm).At 8:15 the shift manager came up to me on my table and told me " If your roommate doesn't show up by 9:00pm, I'm going to fire him. I was due for break at 8:20 and I remembered our phone was disconnected, So I called Domino's Pizza and ordered A large cheese and pepperoni pizza to our apartment and said if they hurried their would be a $10 tip for the driver. When the pizza driver knocked on the door, my roommate woke up and said "I didn't order no damm pizza, ........Oh shit I'm late for work  "Well my roommate made it to work by 9:00pm. The shift manager didn't fire him though he was upset my roommate didn't bring in any pizza.  True story 

After enjoying an evening of recreational gambling at New York New York in Las Vegas, an elderly couple (in their late seventies) decide to take the tram back to Mandalay Bay. Unfortunately the indoor 'tram station' at NYNY doesn't go to Mandalay Bay, in fact it doesn't go anywhere but straight up 450 feet in the air then 80 mph straight down into a double cork screw double loop ride of a lifetime! Of course the couple  became very ill and required hotel security to administer  oxygen and the assistance of the emergency services of the LV Fire Dept paramedics! Once recovered, the good folks at NYNY gave the couple a limo ride back to their hotel. ...True story!!

How 'bout this one:

Can't clap unless you bet black. 

Can't scream unless you bet green. 

And if you're only betting red......

...just stand there and play dead!

 This is just another one of those reasons why crap dealers should not deal blackjack. At about 4:00am, one of the craps tables closes and the dealers get sent to blackjack. One of the dealers is nearing the end of her shift and is very tired is sent to blackjack. She has 2 players, the first one busts, the second one stays on 14. She flips over her cards and when she gets to 15, she picks up the players money. The player is dumbfounded and yells, what are you doing, she replies, "you have 14, I have 15, I beat you", and continues to pick up the players money. The player screams, "you have to get to 17"...............Just kill me now!

We had a dice dealer who was told to deal Caribbean Stud, having never dealt it and to proud to ask how) the players convinced the dealer 2's were wild. This went on for a couple of hours and the only reason it stopped was because the dealer had a jackpot... two queens and two 2's (4 of a kind) lol 

Well this one takes the cake. Just when you have seen every bonehead move a break-in dealer can do there will always be somebody out there that will surprise even the most seasoned supervisors who have seen it all in the most popular break-in house in Las Vegas.

To my astonishment I look over to BJ 10 and see a small child and his mother sitting at the table. The kid has no bet but had cards dealt to him!! The floor supervisor is correcting a mistake on another game and has his back turned to the situation. I walk over and tell the mother that the child must leave the gaming area immediately. The new dealer says that the child is not betting any money, only the mother is actually gambling and she thought it was OK so long as children don't actually gamble.

?????????????

I have a funny feeling I'm not going to live long.