Dealers page 1

That $25 minimum bet sign sure keeps the fleas off our craps table.

Sure hope it works on my dog!

Scott, years ago when I was dealing downtown , we had an Asian pit manager. He had a superstition that if the dice were passing he could squeeze his nuts and a seven would appear. Well, one day I came back from break and took the stick, I looked down and saw that both bases were buried in checques, I mean the bets were two or three inches high and nine players on each end, the point was ten and the prop box was completely covered in hard ten money!    

I could see that there were about three or four hundred dollars in dealer bets on the line as well as $212 in hard ten money for da boys!  
So, I looked for him and there he was, standing right behind the boxman  and, sure enough he had not one but both hands in his pockets, which meant he was now inflicting inhuman amounts of pain on his own nut sack, not for the love of a goddess like creature or for immeasurable wealth  but only to prove to himself that whatever cruel and sadistic GOD that he prayed to would surely allow him to POP his own fuckbeans before issuing a seven out! 

I SMILED! FROM EAR TO EAR I SMILED!! It had been a long time since he had been promoted and because he wanted to impress his benefactors he had been riding all of us very hard (nitpicking) and now, finally, it was our turn!

When I smiled at him I could see the FEAR in his eyes as he realized that he would truly have to go all the way and explode his own posterity right there at that moment in order to match my conviction! 

I SMILED and pushed the dice to the shooter. I didn't dare take my eyes off those two magic cubes for I knew that if I did he might use that as a reason to unload his impotent goo upon me, so, I watched , and to this very day I can still see them flying through the air, from the shooters hand, past the base dealer, up, rising above the boxman's head and for a split instant they were right in front of his face and I swear to you at that moment they replaced his eyes, ( I wish that I could tell you that I could see the numbers on the dice but they did appear right in front of each eye as they passed by ) at that moment I knew beyond a doubt that I had him and when the dice landed and I called 

" WINNER! TEN HARD!" 

I SMILED and SMILED and SMILED until the pain in my cheeks was dissolved by the broken pangs of .........

"SAME FUCKIN' GUY CALL WINNA WINNA WINNA  ARR  DA TIME!"

However when the cheering had stopped and all the bets were paid ,he was still the PIT BOSS, and so that I would never forget my place in the food chain of dice , I wasn't allowed to go on stick for an entire week! 

 But guess what?   :)    LOL     :)   

True story.  Shift manager walks into the pit at one o'clock in the morning and tells one of the floorman to call this number he has written down because his 15 year old son was in some kind of trouble. He hands the floorperson his cell phone. The supervisor calls the number only to find out that his 15 yr old is in juvenile hall drunk tank. Apparently the kid was out and about and got into a fight or something. Dad yells out "God dammit!" AND THROWS THE SHIFT MANAGERS PHONE 15-20 FEET INTO A BANK OF SLOT MACHINES!!!
Ummmmmmm not good.
The shift manager gave him an EO and remained calm. 
The next night the shift manager told everyone who asked about the incident that he didn't fire him. Figured he saved the kids life.

Scott, this story comes from the old MGM (now Bally's) '77 maybe early '78 (before the fire) -  In the dice pit we have a  jam up game, everyone winning but not enough to attract the bosses. All the players are loud and tipsy having some fun. The guy throwing a little duke is having this gorgeous gal blow on the dice before he shoots. After he throws two crap rolls in a row he panics thinking a seven-out is soon to follow. He wants to change his luck before it gets worse. He asks another woman to blow on the dice and the first gal yells out "NO NO, here, rub them on these"

She opens her blouse to reveal the most beautiful perfect set of breasts you can imagine! Obviously she got his attention he proceeds rub the dice on her attribute's.

Now, I'm thinking I should tell her she can't do that, she must button up her blouse. But you know something, that's not a decision for a boxman, I'll tell the Floor to handle it, so I call the Floor over and he looks at her ...

"WOW! Would you look at those! .......She can't do that! "

I then suggested that he call over the Pit manager and let him tell her. So the Floor picks up the phone (staring the whole time)  and our Pit boss comes over and we point to her. 

He says...

"WOW! Would you look at those! .........She can't do that! "

Next up, the Shift Manager, ...same results...

..."WOW! Would you look at those! .......She can't do that! "

This whole process of "executive decision making" took TWENTY MINUTES before she was finally told to button up!!

How to kill a craps game

The scenario....Monday night 3:30 AM, we have one of those shift managers that wont close a game until every last player is gone. We all get off at 4AM, we have 3-4 'gangbangers" playing their minimum bets in the field and turbo dice isn't working tonight. What to do, what to do.........Then out of nowhere I get this idea, an idea I cant believe I never thought of before. 

I'm sitting on the box and I instruct the dealers to start singing Berry Manalow songs!

Five minutes later.................Dead game! Bring up the lid!

Player starts up a dead game with a $10 bill and proclaims 

"I hate to see people not working"......

Box replies back

 " Makes me wish I we're a lifeguard!"

Pit boss to boxman returning from break: ..........

"Why did you tell the Floorman you were in an hour and 20 minutes?

Boxman: ......I didn't say that!

Floorman: ...........Yes you did!

Boxman: .........."You asked how long I'd been in and I said.......

I'll be in an hour in 20!

Player throws the dice and they hit and bounce off the base dealer. 

Stickman announces: 

"SEVEN OUT!...........HIT A LUMP!

I may have found a remedy to a problem each of us must deal with. If I was a break-in dealer I could understand, but most of us have been doing this for years. We had another Pre shift meeting tonight. Same ol shit.  

Our Pit boss:

 Now listen up everyone, I want to hear you advertise props! I want you to say: 

"FIELD BETS, COME BETS, HARDWAYS, EACH and EVERY ROLL"....

GOT IT?.......

Yes sir I exclaimed, you want us to say "FIELD BETS, COME BETS, HARDWAYS, EACH and EVERY ROLL"

So when I start on the stick I called the game exactly as he quoted!

"Eight easy eight, hard eight is down! FIELD BETS, COME BETS, HARDWAYS, EACH and EVERY ROLL"

Next roll..........

"Nine center field nine FIELD BETS, COME BETS, HARDWAYS, EACH and EVERY ROLL"

Next roll..........

" Three craps three, come again, single. FIELD BETS, COME BETS, HARDWAYS, EACH and EVERY ROLL"

After fifteen minutes of this "EACH and EVERY ROLL" our floorman told me 

"Shut up already"............So I did!

OOPS!

I work over here at the  ____ Casino in Detroit. On Saturday night we had our usual crowd of the brothers firing it up, hoop' in and hollering when out of the blue our boxman snaps at the shooter.....

"WHAT IS IT WITH YOU PEOPLE? WHY CAN'T YOU JUST PICK UP THE DICE AND THROW THEM LIKE NORMAL FOLKS?"

Ummmmmmmmmmm

Scott, all I can say is you had to have been there. 

Last Friday evening the Floor Supervisors and Boxmen had another pre-shift meeting about customer service. I guess the management here at Harrah's wants the supervisors to be more involved with the players and such. Anyway, Charlie an old school boxman who truly believes in game protection and procedures first and foremost must have lost his mind! You see, after the meeting he sits down on a very busy game and starts chanting "baby needs a new pair of shoes"! When the shooter throws the first winner he stands up and 'high fives' the guy, shouts his excitement and then encourages all the players to 'Do the wave!' ...Dealers and himself included! Around the table we go (three times) You should have seen this spectacle.  

We're all going to miss him dearly.

Love the site.  here's a story from the Alton Belle Casino in Alton,
Illinois ......Friday night, about 10 players on the game,  cocked die, stick man says call it, base dealer says 7-out, players flip out, say it was 5,3 instead of 5,2......after a 5 minute argument with the box man the brothers all refuse to shoot the dice, the box offers to let them shoot one more time, and then decides to bring the lid up on the game and closes the game with all 10 players not knowing whether to shit or wind their watches.  so after another argument with the shift manager they agree that the call stands, the game is closed, the dice are cancelled, all the players go to the only other
game in the joint, so the shift manager brings the entire crew from the closed game to tap out the dealers on the only open game, yet again the players didn't know whether to shit or wind their watches.  

FAT ASS SNAKE

Honestly, we were not talking about this lady playing on our game last night. Now I realize why casinos don't like dealers cross firing. Let me explain. On a live game we we're talking about a dealers snake, a boa constrictor or whatever, anyway he was telling us what a huge snake he had at home that he had just purchased. I'm on the stick and said "wow, that is one fat ass snake" agreeing with his description. On the next seven-out this lady on the hook collects her chips and literally cusses everyone out! Man is she pissed! None of the dealers or the Box knows why. The Box asks the guys playing next to her what her problem was and they responded that she probably didn't appreciate the fact we were talking about her huge ass. We were dumbfounded! We honestly didn't know what they were talking about! Then we see her over next to a BJ game, it was pointed out from one of the players that she (all 300 pounds of her) was wearing these very tight snake skin pants and apparently thought we were talking about her.

^{A FAMILY NIGHT OUT}

My brother was in town visiting and  wanted to go gambling. When you live in Vegas one has to play the tour guide and all, so I took him to "Shoe" to play some live poker. We play for hours and from time to time he bugs me to go play craps. "I deal craps, I don't want to play craps, I'm sick of craps, "But your a dealer! Teach me!" .......This goes on for hours, and when we finally cash out (20 beers later) we're walking by the dice pit - "come on, come on, teach me! "O.K. how much money do you have? $300 he says------give it to me!  

 $275 across!.........

7 OUT !!!!!!! 

There, that's how you play, now shut the fuck up!