Dealers page 5

The site is best viewed in Internet Explorer

Dealers page 5

FROM THE DICE PIT AT PALMS RESORT HOTEL & CASINO IN LAS VEGAS:

THIS GUY AND HIS LADY FRIEND NUDGE THEIR WAY INTO THE HOOK AND IT BECOMES HIS TURN TO SHOOT, MIND YOU HE'S A BIG BLACK GUY BUT NEEDS THE PINK DICE IF YOU NOW WHAT I MEAN. AFTER SEVERAL FAILED ATTEMPTS OF HITTING THE WALL THE BOXMAN TELLS ME ON STICK TO REMIND OUR FRIEND HERE THAT THE DICE NEED TO GO ALL THE WAY TO THE ALLIGATOR. HE FAILS TO HIT THE WALL A FEW MORE TIMES SO I DECIDED TO TELL HIM.

"SIR, PLEASE HIT THE BACK WALL ..JUST LIKE WHEN HAVING SEX"

TABLE IS ROLLING IN LAUGHTER AND AT THE SAME TIME HIS LADY SAYS:

"HA! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?...."

"HE WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO HIT THE BACK WALL!"

A dealer that I work with passed this story on to me. Keep in mind that this is the mid-80's at the Horseshoe.
New stickman taps on to the game and immediately calls a 7-out! So the asshole standing next to stick starts ranting and raving...

"there you go, you son of a bitch! 7 out! Did you get what you want? Are you happy now? Did you get what you wanted?"
The stickman gathers himself, turns to the player, and replies, "buddy, if I had gotten what I wanted, there'd be a smoldering pile of ashes right where you're standing."

Subject: True Story.........Slow night, we only have one minimum bet player on second base, just chill' in, waiting to go home when the dealer, Brian, on the dead side starts babbling about this deft couple arguing. (something he heard on the radio)....."Can you imagine watching a deaf couple arguing" seemed to be the current topic. (I love this job) Anyway, it's a good of a topic as any so we want to hear the story. Now I admit you have to be there to appreciate this sick humor but here it goes: Brian starts waving his arms wildly in the air and making these animal noises describing what it would look & sound like.

The shift manager, halfway across the casino looks over toward the dice pit and calls our pit boss to ask "why is that dealer doing that?".....The pit manager comes over to our table and just stands behind Brian while he is giving us his idea of a deaf couple arguing. After a while he yells out..."EXCUSE ME? MAY I ASK JUST WHAT THE %#&# ARE YOU DOING?" ...as Brian, acting all neurotic, abruptly shuts up.

So, Brian explains what he's talking about and the pit boss says: "You want me to tell him that?" (the shift manager)

Ya know in hind sight, we should have warned Brian of the impending danger of the pit boss coming toward him. But that would spoil the moment.

Hello everybody at Dicedealer.com

Great news! I have invented the $7 chip for those

"same bet" players we all get from time to time. This will speed up any crap game and increase productivity among dealers!

Please tell your casino manager!

We have Mr. Loudmouth down the middle on second base side. We're in the midst of a solid 10-minute roll...he makes a public announcement to God and the entire world that he's putting the boys up for A WHOLE NICKEL on the pass line. 3 or 4 rolls later - 7 out! So the guy let's everyone on the whole planet know that he will NEVER, EVER bet for the dealers again as long as he lives! But he starts throwing money to the shooters...every 3 or 4 rolls, he tosses something all the way over to 3rd base for the shooter. Nice guy...but he's about to get his...
Dice have quickly cooled off, and he chunks $100 in the field. Shooter shoots...dice arch up in the air...they're just about to land, when Mr. Loudmouth screams "TAKE IT OFF! TAKE IT OFF! TAKE IT OFF!" 8 rolls easy, dealer takes the losers in the field. Loudmouth goes absolutely ballistic, but the box and base dealer explain to him the concept of a self-service bet. The floorman ain't gonna give him back his money, telling him that "take it off" doesn't mean anything since it wasn't specific enough. Now I'm on third base this whole time, trying to keep a straight face, but the stickman has to get me rollin by turning to the guy and saying,

"I thought you wanted me to get naked for you."

^{An oldie but goodie:}

^{As the
stick pushes the dice to the player next to base...}

^{"GET
THE PUCK OUT OF MY WAY!!!}

One of our regular players, a small good humored gentleman is standing on a chair when all of a sudden he falls flat on his face on the craps table because the dealer didn't pay his bets close enough. He then gets up and yells out...

"NO ACTION ON THE MIDGET"

and then runs to the other side of the table over the bets, so his buddy could help him off!

LOL

This grouchy old man is shootin' the dice, playin' with the dice actually. The dealer tells him to pick up the pace a little. The old man chimes in with the classic phrase

"don't tell me how to shoot because I've been playing this game since you were in diapers".

The dealer says "yeah, well now I'm dealing the game and your in diapers"..

"GET A ROLL"

This is got to be the best I've seen yet lol.....
I was walking up to the craps table to relive fellow boxman.
Was about half a pit away...
Full view of table.
I see a roll...Hard four....Come out.....
Only one guy working on dice direction....
Stick quickly paid and I see dice flying in the air with the Hard Four sitting in front of boxman lol.....

Apparently stick left two dice sitting in front of shooter thinking he grabbed all three dice shooter was next to stick).

You guessed it seven out! lol...
Box looked down , noticed the two dice sitting in front of him The Hard Four) swooped them up and looked if anyone noticed....NO ONE NOTICED lol....

I turned and talked to customer regular) playing a slot machine near by to see if any yelling started. Heard coming out...then walked up to table...

Asked "what happened to Hard Four lol"
Boxman's eyes almost pooped out of his head lol....

But no-one knew what happened lol...
The shooter just said "WTF I roll a Hard Four and see nine in front of me. Pass back what I roll will ya!" lol...

More dealer bullshit stories page 6