Dealers page 4

You have to understand that this guy is from England, so that statement alone with that accent was funny enough. well, on with the story. It didn't matter that it was a graveyard shift but one night at our casino the dice game was filled, with you know, the usual fleas packed on both sides and of course the guy shooting had to be told every time he threw the dice to hit the back wall. So, after about the fourth or fifth time of telling the flea to hit the back wall the boxman called the floor, (Mr.. Bahamas) and explained about the guy not hitting the back wall. The floor then proceeded to watch the flea and sure enough he didn't hit the back wall. And in the English accent he holds up the game and yells to the player:

The whole table busts out laughing and for the rest of his roll he hit the back wall.

I thought I'd share a story. New Years Eve. We decided since we all were going to have to work, that we'd have a little get together before work. So after a couple of..................HOURS of heavy drinking and partying, look at the time, we had 15 minuets to be on the floor. Would you believe standing room only on this piece of shit Jon Boat (riverboat casino). 8 drunken dealers, 2 blitzed Boxes, and 1 inebriated Floor on back to back tables. Every flea in 3 state area out on their once a year drunk and gambling trip. So we had fun with the Goobers for a good while before the SOBER and uninvited Pit Bitch starts hovering over us shaking her head in that disapproving way. She storms back into the BJ pit, and I could see her scheming over the road-map trying to figure a way to boot us asses out of dice into a corner somewhere. But she new that even drunk, we were the best damn dice crew in the place, and at that time extremely short on dealers period. So in disappointment looking to confide in someone, she walk over to roulette, where my wife is dealing. She says "I swear, if I had anyone here to take over, I'd replace that whole damn dice pit!" My wife then asks "Why, what's going on over there?" Pit bitch replies, "The whole crew is drunk, and can't deal for shit now (we really weren't that bad, and nothing but fleas to boot)" My wife then said, "Really they can't deal? Well I don't seem to be having much of a problem. (looking up at her though bloodshot eyes from a 1/2 gallon of strawberry daiquiris)" Now she was getting that disapproving look.

River Boat in Louisiana. Swing shift 1997. So I'm on stick, singing like bird. Don't even get a sniff of a "seven out". I get tapped off and told to see the pit. Go to the Big Six and I don't want to see you again tonight, he says. Off I go to take my punishment. One thing I noticed when dealing The Big Wheel is.....You become the worlds authority on the inside of peoples nostrils, anyway I'm straying off the story. So here I am , spinning this stupid wheel when a deck hand comes along with a back-pack bug spray. Spraying under the table, around my feet, behind the wheel, in front of the table over the patrons shoes and walks
up to me and says....."that should do it" I said..."that should do
what?" He said ....."Well I was sitting in the break room when a dealer came in and said something about a whole bunch of fleas
around the big six wheel."

Bahamas. Swing shift. Another busy Saturday night. Eight full length dice games on cruise control.
I'm on stick:..."Coming out, here we go, crap eleven seven, what
goes.......Etc.Etc." Up walks this Guy, well dressed, with a cute chick has huge tits . Buys in. Give him across and the hard ways. The whole crew and box are looking at her tits, which are almost falling out. Box: SS the chick. Me: will do. Now its her turn to shoot. I give her a super SS, she leans right over, and sure enough.....Out falls one of her big bad boys. She smiles and calmly tucks it back into her dress. She shoots the dice. And here we go again. Now we have a small audience. two floor, a pit, and a couple of security. We were all praying for winners, so she could carry on shooting.
Sure enough, once again......one big tit falls out. The guy seemed he didn't care. So....to cut a long story short, this was happening
all night and to tell the truth, we were all getting a little bored .
Now here comes Graveyard to take us out and the stick tells the
incoming....."OK um, you got that guy over there, he's got us up on the line, the guy next to me got us on the hard ways.......Thanks again Sir........uuuuhhh!! there's the shooter, on the hook,
Oh, and HER (tapping his stick) Tits keep falling out".
So hence......a new cycle begins......

I get home from work late one night and hear a voice in my head. The voice tells me, "Hey asshole, quit your job, sell your house, take yo money, go to Vegas." I'm very disturbed at what I hear and ignore the voice. The next day when I get home from work, the same thing happens. The voice tells me, "Quit your job, sell your house, take yo money, go to Vegas." Again I ignore the voice, though I'm very troubled by the event. Every day, day after day, for about three or four days, I hear the same voice when I get home from work, "Quit your job, sell your house, take your money, go to Vegas." Each time I hear the voice I become increasingly upset. Finally, after two weeks, I succumb to the pressure. I do quit my job, sell my house, take my money and head to Vegas.

The moment I get off the plane in Vegas, the voice tells me, "Go to Harrahs." So, I hop in a cab and rush over to Harrahs. As soon as I set foot in the casino, the voice tells me, "Go to the craps table." I do as I'm told. When I get to a craps table, the voice tells me, "Put all your money on the pass line." Nervously, I cash in my money for chips and then put them all on the pass line! The dealer wishes me good luck and I select two dice, I yell for a seven or eleven! I anxiously watch the dice as they slowly arc up, up, up in the air until finally they land upon the table bounce up against the wall and back down when I hear the dealer yell