In 1985, I was a whole 24 romping years old, working with the last dinosaur's of the craps pit, in one of the most renown places on the strip, The Dunes. 'Kid' quickly became my nickname. 
Anyway, one night a blind guy shows up with his very nervous seeing eye dog (damm dog wouldn't leave me alone!) So the kid was dealing to him , and the blind guy was shooting the dice, which in itself was a joke, dice were flying everywhere and it wasn't a sea of red like today's games but black and purple and canary, all over the layout. Well one of our real dinosaurs named "GRIFF" comes running back from break, I mean RUNNING back, he ran where ever he went (ex-boxer who took one to many punches I guess.) So Griff comes on the stick and the blind guy is  still shooting, checks are flying all over, from 'Stevie Wonder' hitting everything on the layout, so Griff swats the stick in front of him after the 2nd bad throw and said

"SIR, PLEASE HIT THE BACK WALL EACH AND EVERY ROLL! KEEP THEM ON THE TABLE  GOT IT? -  HIT THE END!"

Well I was in shock,  the last stickman forgot to inform old Griff that the guy was blind. So I immediately tried to smooth things over by talking about the guys nervous dog, I asked him where did you get that good looking German Shepard, when he replied from L.A.P.D Canine unit that's when I asked  to be promptly excused  from the game. 

(Lets just say I had a little side business back then)

E-MAIL

Dear Scott, I was reading those stories dealers sent in and the story about the seeing eye dog at the Dunes with "The kid" was a true story.  I was "The last stickman" who forgot to tell Griff about the blind guy. What Mario (The kid) forgot to mention was how this dog attracted all kinds of attention with its barking.  Here is what went down; The blind guy was with another fellow who wanted to play craps for a short time before dinner. They stopped at the table standing in spot 7 & 8 next to base.  When Mario tried to "smooth things over" with the blind guy,  the dog moved closer to Mario and started sniffing and barking.  Mario didn't ask "Where did you get that good looking German Shepard" - He asked "Sir?, What is wrong with your dog? 

It was the floor supervisor who asked why the dog was barking and the blind guy said he "just got him a couple of weeks ago"..."A retired police dog"

"Hell I don't know what wrong with him"

We did! And yes Mario didn't so much ask to be excused from the game as he pretty much told the box "I'll be right back" and the box got up and dealt. By the time Mario got back the pit manager was waiting and simply said....Is it gone? 

"Yes sir" replied Mario. Talk about some funny shit. It's not every day you see a dog in a casino let alone a retired drug sniffing one. What are the odds I wonder? 

 

Canada as you know had a law in place preventing the throwing of dice for gaming purposes for a hundred or so years.  The law was repealed some time in 1999, and a massive training class was formed to train dealers to deal craps for the opening day of craps across our nation (April 7, 1999).

    Now it is known world wide that our fine country produces the best hockey players in the world and hockey is and always will be Canadian. (nuff said)

    I thought that it was rather funny that when I showed up for craps training on my first day (and every day after) actual hockey pucks were used on our layouts instead of the real gaming variety.

I guess our trainer thought we would be comforted by the sight of a hockey puck while learning this great American game.

Hi.  I'm just letting you know my feelings on your site.....

It rocks my friend.

A friend of mine at the casino turned me on to the site.  I thought you might like this song.....

It is a parody on 'Piano Man'.....

Now keep in mind, that I work on a casino boat in Indiana.  And yes, I do deal dice.  The song is dedicated to any dice dealer who has had a bad day, with the worst customers.....

Sing along now..... ready?

--    It's nine o'clock on a Saturday, the regular fleas shuffle in.  There's old man playing next to me, losing big cause drunk on gin.

He says "son you're the worst god damn dice dealer, that I think I ever did see.  Well, I'm gonna meet you out in your parking lot, and take a bat to both of your knees".

La ...da ...da da da ...da da ,de de 

    Now, Jay on the base he's a friend of mine, who never takes shots for free.  And he's quick with a joke, or to call you a stroke, but there's someplace that he'd rather be.  He says Krash I believe this is killing me.  As the smile ran away from his face.  Well I'm sure that I could be a real dealer, if I could get out of this place.

    Send us the dice Mr.. dice dealer

, Send us the dice or we'll shout.

  Well we're all in the mood to lose all our ass, 

We'll get a point and then we'll seven out.

La ...da ...da da da ...da da ,de de 

    Now we have some new boss who has mafia ties, whose wealth is truly profound.  And he's good to the dealers, unless your a squealer, in which case you will never be found. (Maybe in an Indiana Corn field)

And the pit bosses are sweating the money, the eye is sweating it too.  They stand at the tables, until they are able to leave felling that they all got screwed.

    It's a pretty good crowd for a Saturday, and the bosses all give us a smile.  Cause they know that it's we, they been coming to see, to forget about their wives for awhile.  And the dice pit it sounds like a carnival.  And all us dealer's we just long to get stoned.  Well we're sharing a job we call misery but it's better than being drunk, home, broke, and alone.

    Send us the dice Mr. dice dealer

   Send us the dice or we'll shout.

  Well we're all in the mood to lose all our cash

 We'll get a point and then we'll seven out.

Let me set the mood ......I'm from a casino that shares there tips between shifts...24 hour period. Well of course I work Grave...so all the swing dealers think were toke suckers so we inevitably do battle every night when we change shifts. So I walk up to this jammed up game half asleep and in one of those ( I just woke up grumpy moods). I tap the stick out and he leans back and says: The guy on the hook is shooting he's coming out he's been a pain in the ass the whole night. Tells me he's superstitious and likes to shoot while kneeling down. I think great .So I get on the table and look over and sure enough all I see is this arm and a head. Yelling give me the dice
give me the dice. So I push the dice out and look him straight in the face and say you have to hit back wall pal. He throws the dice one goes in the pit the other goes out of the pit .I dump the bowl pissed as hell now. Send him the dice and say listen guy ......quit screwing around and shoot like a normal human being. The guy says "hold on let me get a better angle". Three of his buddies that are straight away start swearing at me and they move back.......THEY MOVE THE GUY AND HIS WHEELCHAIR straight away and they take the hook. The box the floor and the pit are just shaking there heads at me :(

I work graveyard, and when our games go dead the Boxman must shill the game, you know, to give us some practice and all. So the other night our Box was throwing the dice around and this player comes to the game and buys in for $500. The Boxman puts the dice down and attempts to give the chips back when the player announces that he doesn't want to shoot, he just wants to play. We tell the player that he is a supervisor just giving us practice.  The player doesn't care, the Boxman shoots or he goes next door. The Pit manager tells the Boxman to continue to shoot and tells the dealer to change the cash for the player.

Our beloved Boxman THROWS A DUKE! 30 minutes of pure pleasure. The funny thing about all this was not so much the fact that the player cashes out for $2800, or that he had maybe $3000 on the table when the 7 out came, nor was it when the dealers dropped about $400 in tokes, no - the funny part was when the Pit Boss, who was sitting Box , told me during "the Roll" to ...........are you ready for this?.....

"TURN THE DICE OVER!"

Boy this sure is a warm and trusting business, isn't it?

Here is a story from my "Archives" of Little Caesars. On Graveyard shift, you always looked over your shoulder, but with "Ice Pick Lenny" on duty, you knew you were in good hands! This man was a member of the "Renegades" group, and had no front teeth Gee, I wonder why), But we all felt very safe with him on duty! He always wore his motorcycle boots with an ice pick inside thus his surname), and he took a baseball bat, and cut it in half and filled it with lead! I never felt safer in my life! Well, one late night, a certain person stumbled into "Lenny's Den", and made the mistake of his life! He stumbled up to the table and threw down a twenty, he put ten on the line and the stick shoved him the dice. He proceeded to grab all 5 of the dice and toss them into the air at once. Well, this did not go over well with "Ice Pick"! I was the one in question on the stick by the way! I saw all five dice fly out of this guys hand at the same time, so I did my job, and yelled "NO ROLL"! Well I reacted by grabbing at the flying dice with my left hand, at the same time "Ice Pick" jumped up and grabbed his trusty bat. I managed to catch three of the dice I still, to this day, don't know how). Well, the two remaining dice hit the layout, and resulted in a "craps", and the third base dealer grabbed up the guys money before you could blink! The drunk tried to argue that it was not a good roll, but just about then, "Ice Pick" smashed his "bat" down on the layout! End of discussion!! We need more people like "Ice Pick"! ---

I

I had a pit boss who sweat the money real bad, and I was known for singing on stick. I had a good roll going. The Pit Boss stared me down after calling an 8 on the come out roll and told me to turn one die over. I did it and sent them out. Naturally the call was WINNER 8 HARD. After I watched my end pay out a LOT of money. She gave me a very dirty look and said in a low angry voice, 

"You turned the WRONG DIE!!!"

 

Revenge is sooooooooooo sweet!

We'll call him David. I'm on the stick one night turning blue on this $75 hi low that just hit and David is on base snickering. He's the one that booked that late bet,  he should figure it out, but no, the box makes me figure it out as some kind of on the job training or some shit.

My turn:.............

Last night our crew is assembling to go on the floor. My plan was simple and it worked to a tee with the help of the other guys whom all they had to do was remain silent.

As we were walking upstairs one of the guys "accidentally" bumped into David  and he leaned toward me a little so I could catch him by the back of pants and push him upright. What I really did was place a three foot section of toilet paper inside the back of his trousers.

Here comes David walking through the casino with this toilet paper hanging out his pants! David wants the stick, no problem, not tonight anyway.

It was a beautiful thing, you know what I mean? Watching everyone do those double stares and pointing. The pit can't see anything yet 'till he gets on base. The players on the game glanced at him with a bewildered look then at us. They seemed to pick up on the fact that a classic practical joke was in progress and played along.

Payback....................I love it!

You can't describe it in print. You had to have been there.

On a busy game, the stickman not to mention any names, we'll just call him Kenny, nor will I mention the casino where we work with a huge 110 story tower out front ........anyway he pushes the dice to a player who picks two and fires them across the table real fast. Dealer collects the three remaining dice and whips the stick upright "just as fast". ...........The stick goes flying halfway across the casino!

I'm dealing on third base, I keep my eyes on the layout  but I'm thinking........ holy shit!...... (as I hear the thing circling around in mid air ..."whoosh,  whoosh"........and then you can hear a "clang, clang "as it hit the slot machines.)

To our credit, we dealt the hand as if nothing had happened. I collected the dice for him, set them in the middle and dealt the game. The jackass on the stick did the same, watching his end and helping me deal through this. I can hear the Pit Boss behind me ........."WHAT THE #%&* IS GOING ON?" 

Thereafter he just stood there with his mouth open. What could he say? We dealt the game.........Shit happens......Right?

Bullshit game, nothing going on 'till these fine young ladies show up full of smiles, drinks in hand for a craps lesson 101. We explain the basics, keep it simple, they win a little, they start to have fun. We start (password) one girl in particular. The stick is talking up a game to entice excitement.

Stick: "What number do you want to throw?"

Girl (bending over to get the dice)     "SIX"

Stick: "CAN'T HEAR YOU!"

Girl: "SIX"

Stick: "LOUDER!!!"

Girl: " SIX "

Stick: "WHAT DO YOU WANT?

 

 

 

Girl: "I WANT SIX!"

"I WANT SEX!"

True story:

We came real close to getting fired this night.... 

I come back from break to find a busy game. I ask the stick who is shooting, and he tells me 

"The shooter is the Mexican." 

So without delay, I look for the "Mexican", find one and push the dice over to him and say "o.k. Shooter, point is 8!" As the box is doing a fill, the shooter picks up the dice and throws a winner 8! The dealer on third base starts screaming "No roll, no roll.....he's not the shooter! All hell breaks lose. The box is now aware of what's going on and asks me why did I give the dice to the wrong player?  I replied: "The stick said the Mexican was shooting!".......

He replies back  " I SAID THE GUY WITH THE MEXICO SHIRT IS SHOOTING!" (A green soccer shirt with MEXICO printed in front) ..... 

The "Mexican" starts screaming at me " I'M NO DAMM MEXICAN, I'M CUBAN YOU DUMB ASS MOTHER  #%^#&!! 

The real Mexican player  screams at the Cuban player: "EXCUSE ME" JUST WHAT THE %&*# DO YOU MEAN BY THAT! 

Now these two players are ready to go at it! All the other players on the pass line are screaming to get paid! All the dont players are screaming foul! 

The pit boss starts screaming "PAY EVERYONE.... DO’S AND DON'TS!" "AND AS FOR THE TWO OF YOU.... (meaning us) ...WHAT THE #$%$# WAS THAT ALL ABOUT ..

The two "Mexican" players are screaming at each other. The other players are yelling at the floorman and box to get the game under control, the pit manager is screaming at us. That pussy dealer on third base who started all this starts snibling "This wouldn't happen if you point the stick in front of the shooter" (cocksucker) -  The dealer that went on break is back there in the pit laughing his ass off which made matters worse!

The Other dealer is pointing at me, I'm pointing at him. Security guards come running over to the game and they even get into a beef with someone unrelated to the situation at hand! The dice pit is out of control!

HOLY COW! WHAT A MESS!

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