The Man

Kerry Packer

Ben Affleck

Speaking of George celebrities, I was working at Caesars Palace one day when a familiar- looking man sat down at a Pai Gow poker table. He had jet-black hair and so many face lifts that every time he blinked his kneecaps went up and down. 

I walked over to him and said, "Excuse me, but aren't you Eddie Fisher?" 

He smiled forlornly and said, "I used to be."

   THE WORST

Jerry Lewis

Frank Sinatra

Redd Foxx

Don Adams

Kenny Rogers

Robert 

De Niro

Rodney Dangerfield

Larry Flynt

Bill Cosby

Milton Berle

Paul Anka

• Jennifer Lopez is clamping down on fiancé Ben Affleck's legendary tipping habits. During their Thanksgiving holiday visit, Hollywood's hottest couple was at a baccarat table at The Mirage, and my spies tell me Affleck was on a roll. When he tossed a $5,000 white chip to the dealers, J.Lo told him "no," retrieved the chip, and put it in her pocket book. Then she reached over and took three of Affleck's $100 black chips and pushed them across the table.

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• Oscar de la Hoya.  He beat our crew for $200k and stiffed us.  Real Prick.

• Tiger Woods.  As many trips as he has made to the MGM you think he would have learned to toke by now.
  

• Michael Jordan.  Chicago boat dealers agree: Mike is king on the court and unfortunately king of all stiffs.

• George Carlin We dealt to him after he finished his gig at Grand Casino in Biloxi...he went slumming at my local grind joint...he was greasy, grumpy and totally a waste of human flesh, but since nobody in the place knew who he was (T-giving weekend-we had some college convention in town) he was comfy enough to hang out for several hours and torture us.

• Keith Sweat!!! Total stiff!!!  I didn't know he was famous (good thing he can sing 'cause he sure is ugly) except that he had to have an entire craps table roped off so no one else could play with him. Didn't have a clue about dice 
  either! I'm talking about $500 flat with $10 odds, $500 field AND on the Big 6... 

• Andrew Dice Clay is a major-league- card-carrying- pine-box- sleepin-in-gold-plated-STIFF!

• Burt Reynolds, At Players casino , Louisiana, I helped him play for a while and make some money and he didn't even say thank you let alone toke!.

• The same way with Mr. Chuck "Stiffykick " Norris, what an arrogant character.

• Dennis Rodman. A dealer gave him a one dollar check in his change, and he threw it away (over his shoulder.) He hit some old lady in the head with it. When she saw who it was (you cant miss that hair) she started making a  fuss about being hurt. (a weak shot at best) Rodman shut her up by throwing her a  $100. check.  She scooped up her prize left. That's about as tip as that stiff gets.  Nothing like working for free.

• Steven Segal. Rude, obnoxious, stiff, short, and incredibly ugly in person. They must do a great job in makeup.

• Michael Isner (Disney stiff CEO) Plays roulette. Wont let a dealer with a  mustache deal to him.

• Roger King (King World Enterprises) Big stiff. Once tried to get a host fired for not providing him with a decent hooker. (Sorry,we don't have any decent hookers here in Atlantic City, just scanky ones) The host threatened a lawsuit, and was rehired, After King went back to the rock he crawled out from under.

• Jerry Stackhouse hit back to back 12's on the craps table for $100 each. That is $6,000 and not even a thank you! Ball dribbling stiff!!!!

• Here's a Pete Rose saga for you. True story: After making a big scene here at MGM over not getting a credit extension, the shift manager granted Mr. Rose $5000 marker just to keep him quite I suppose. Anyway, besides being obnoxious to us dealers and telling the security guard to "keep those %$#@@?! people away from me" (Fans) he threw what chips remained ($7) across the table at the lady after she threw the 7-out! .......Unbelievable!

• You can add Scotty Pippin to the stiff list. I work at a riverboat casino in Joliet IL. We call him NO TIPPIN PIPPIN !!!!!! 

• Joe Theisman, I serviced him several times and nothing!!! I guess he's still paying for leg treatment or something? Stiff!

• Joe Frazier and his 20 year old wife "stiff" and they slowed the double deck game down tremendously, he had some serious trouble adding the cards by himself.

• I am surprised that the Caesars dealers did not have Celine Dions husband Rene Angelil on their list. He was stiff before they were rich and famous and hasn't changed since.

• I work at Bellagio. It saddens me to report that Bruce Willis is a stiff. Didn't talk with the dealers, didn't say nothing.