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YOU
KNOW YOU'RE A BURNED OUT DEALER WHEN....
....you
know your a burnt out floor when
the
only dealers names you know are
lump,
lumpasaurus, lumpy and clydsdale
...you
start looking forward to a delicious meal in the EDR.
...you'd
rather take the EO and go home and play internet poker
than
to deal to the store bought boobs....no bra... on spot 4
...you
want to kill the mother fucker who
keeps asking questions
at
the end of the mandatory meeting
....the
"Whirl" vs. "World" debate always ends in violence.
YOU
KNOW YOU'RE A BURNED OUT DEALER WHEN....
...you
haven't used your "inside hand" in 10 years
(except
to hold yourself in an upright position)
...you
end up in jail for beating the shit out of some new guy cause you called
him a rookie and he replies back with, "I'm a better and more
experienced dealer than you. I know Blackjack, Caribbean Stud,
Let-It-Ride, Three Card Poker, War, Chuck-A-Luck, Sic-Bo, and the Big 6
wheel. What do you know? Blackjack and Craps? That's only 2 games and
you've been dealing for 15 years, I've only been dealing 4 months, do the
math, who's the rookie now bitch?
...you
put your bartenders name to notify in case of an emergency
...your
kid asks you what 3+6 is and you say
"Ill
give you 10, drop me a dollar.".
...your
dog sleeps on one of your uniforms
and
the other two can be found in your glove box
YOU
KNOW YOU'RE A BURNED OUT DEALER WHEN....
...you
call out checks play on a dead game
because
it's funny to watch your floor person panic
...you
are dealing to purple action and the most beautiful cocktail waitress in
Las Vegas sweetly asks you to make change for a player on your game in the
middle of a hand. You then proceed to break a purple chip down all the way
to silver...hoping the bitch only gets a buck, because she never speaks to
you any other time
.....the
new guy tells you what a great dealer you are and your incredulous
response is;
“How
the **** would you know?”
...you
sign up for poker class hoping to deal to a higher class degenerate
...an
early push gives you a better feeling than sex.
YOU
KNOW YOU'RE A BURNED OUT DEALER WHEN....
...you
and your kid are playing monopoly and he rolls a 7.
You
yell out "7 out" and implode his hotels on Boardwalk and Park
Place,
dump
the board, and declare yourself the winner.
...half
of the joints in your resume have been imploded.
...you
stop complaining about dealing Let It Ride once a month.
...the
Asian player at your table says "Gimmie Monkey, Gimmie Monkey"
for 5 hours straight and you finally reply back with "What monkey?!!
there are no cards in this entire shoe that even come close to looking
like a fucking monkey!!!!"
...during
a fight with the wife, the only comeback you have is "No Bet"
YOU
KNOW YOU'RE A BURNED OUT DEALER WHEN....
...while
selling two bags of weed you weigh the first one up
and
simply "size in" for the next bag...
...you know you're burned
out working the floor and think to yourself about how relaxing it would be
if you were in jail right now rather than watching these lumps
...the
guy at the table is betting a $100.00 for you every
hand
......and
you still want him to lose.
...when
you go to the bathroom on your break and don't wash your hands
just to get even with the players
YOU
KNOW YOU'RE A BURNED OUT DEALER WHEN....
...when
you get to work an hour early everyday to sign the E.O. list but when you
get the early push out, you go ahead and take your last break so you
don't get shorted that 20 min. on your check.
...when
your husband notices you are talking
with
a Chinese accent and your not Chinese.
...when
you design your answers in pre-hire "personality profiling" test
in such a subliminal way that you are telling the reader to go fuck
themselves. (It's an art)
.
...
you can only deal stoned and when you're sober
everyone's
asks "what's wrong?"
...
on your day off you leave for a party and
instinctively
pin your name badge to your suit.
.... you remember when those cocktail waitresses looked HOT!
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need more!
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YOU
KNOW YOU'RE
A BURNED OUT DEALER
WHEN....
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